Lotus in the Fire

by Jim Bedard

Book Overview

In 1995, Jim Bedard, a martial artist and Zen student, was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia and given ten days to live. This is the story of how he used his spiritual strength to bring himself into full contact with a death sentence as well as with painful medical treatment, including chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. It is also the inspiring story of how the faith of his family, Zen teacher, close friends, and the Buddhist community...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1570624305
• ISBN13: 9781570624308
• Release Date: February 1999
• Publisher: Shambhala
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

The Blossoming of the Lotus in the Fire

How each of us faces our individual life challenges varies for we are as individual as our ventures. This is the story of one man's unanticipated journey into and through an unexpected illness, namely leukemia and the hidden treasures of his experience. The rollercoaster of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual change called for his attention all at once. The indignations of procedures and reactions are vividly recalled. He tells of the everyday back and forth torment of his inner dialogue from his human state of suffering, feelings, thoughts and sensations, etc. to the divine acceptance of taking refuge in his Zen practices. The reader is riveted with attention as he weaves back and forth ackowledging the human suffering and then expanding to other realms of existence where he gained new insights from the perspective of the ill and the divine. His continuing responsibilities and concerns about his family along with their daily adjustments and his brother's ultimate gift in the form of a bone marrow transplant are part of this engaging story. Their watch at his bedside and his mother's strong faith became anchors of strength along with the stoic presence of his father and other siblings.His illness becomes his spiritual practice while he continues to touch lives from his hospital bed. Encounters with the terminally ill and their families and his extending of unconditional love to them by example is evident as they are allowed glimpses into the life of a devoted buddhist practitioner. He sets up his own altar in his hospital room as his spiritual practices sustain him. He engages the bodhisattvic vows which culminate in his gradual transition from the hell realms back into the world transformed in the midst of his critical illness.The love of Zensei and the author's dharma brothers and sisters is a continuing thread and power felt throughout his sojourn. We see how the networking around the world at Zen centres helped culminate in aiding the ignition of healing along with the power of prayer from his family and many friends. In the end we see his dream of discipleship to Sensei Sunyana Graef become a well merited realization. But this is just the beginning.The author tells us that he use to give short talks at Zen retreats regarding the matter of birth and death and not to waste a moment. He now finds words to be one thing and experience another. Life takes on new meaning as he births new awareness with each moment seeing the continual dying into life in our earthly existence. Simple pleasures like a blue sky and the everyday beauty that surrounds us take on new meaning and dimension. The reader will find in his hands an immeasureable gift of the heart. As we enter the Age of Enlightenment millions are awakening to the Knowledge and Wisdom we have gathered by living our truth. This is one man's story and testimony that continues into the "afterward" and yet another dimension. Highly recomm

This book hit me in my mind and my heart.

I am at 15 year old homschooled girl in Maryland. I have been researching buddhism for the past few months. I stumbled across this book in the library while doing a research project. I havent stoped reading it since. This book touched me in a religious and emotional way. My entire family is suffering from a number of illnesses and operations of our family memebers. This book gave me a better idea of what it is like for my relatives in this rough time. Plus i learned alot about Zen Buddhism and a little bit of medical info. I sudjested this book to everyone in my house so that they too can be more accepting of our families diffuculites.

The Transcendence of Suffering

The existentialist Gabriel Marcel (he called himself rather a "Christian Socratic") wrote, "One thing is plain to me. Having is always the way in which I give suffering a hold upon me." For Jim Bedard, the special dimension of his "having" had long been his unusual physical vitality, honed by years of exercise, good diet and yoga. Thus Bedard was perhaps uniquely set up for suffering when, within a week of cutting logs and splitting wood at a wilderness cabin, he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. Where Marcel ponders "our 'absolute having' of our bodies," Bedard recounts the intrusions of intensive medical care: "It was their body: they tended to its needs, bathed it, fed it, inserted tubes, removed tubes and took blood from its arms....I had surrendered my most prized possession to a team of experts...." Marcel, from his western philosophical standpoint, affirms that "being can assert its transcendency over having." Bedard, grounded in his long-standing practice of Zen, proves it to be true. The "transcendency of being," on which both men might agree, is realized through Bedard's refusal to set himself apart from his circumstances and his deep sense of connectedness with all beings. His is a practice of no-having. He repeatedly asks, "Who is aware of this fear? Who am I really?" In crisis after crisis, it sees him through. This is a compelling account of great personal courage. Bedard does not spare the details, and the characters of the writer and his family, friends and Zen teacher stand out clearly in these pages. The reader comes away unable to forget Bedard's willingness to consider illness as a spiritual practice, and to accept his own impermanence. "Even if I am cured of leukemia, I will be coming back to this bed," he tells his wife the first time he leaves his hospital room. "This bed beckons us all."

Illuminating guidance for the injured and the ill!

I was injured in a car accident almost two years ago. Nine months later I spontaneously came to Zen. As I learned more about Zen, I was troubled by the constant question, "Why me?" about my physical pains. Then I read this book. My questions, although not completely answered, were directed in an enormously positive way and my spiritual practice has grown. For anyone in chronic pain, whether from illness or injury, this book presents an illuminating and compassionate message of hope and recovery.

A Zen practitioner faces cancer with openness, love, humor.

In "Lotus in the Fire," Jim Bedard tells the story of his battle with leukemia with the lightness, simplicity and humor of a gifted storyteller and with the depth and insight gained from long years of Zen practice. Running through this book are questions we all live with: How do we face difficult or painful times? When do we accept the situation at hand and make the best of it or when do we put our full effort into changing it? How do we use a dillemma or an illness as a tool to enable us to grow in strength, wisdom and compassion, and even to give love and wisdom to others? "Lotus in the Fire" follows Bedard's journey through illness in an open and unselfconscious manner.He meets his trials with flexibility, knowing only that he does not know what is going to happen the next day, the next moment. Returning again and again to his Zen practice, Bedard finds energy when he has no energy left and an ability to ride through disappoinments with trust. Bedard expresses gratitude for his life and family and friends throughout the book. In "Lotus in the Fire," the reader walks with Bedard through the experience of having cancer. He holds nothing back, gives his all throughout the journey and throughout the book. A sense of responsiblility and of giving full effort with awareness, love and humor shines through this book. It is a tale told with grace and wit, and with the easy lilt of an author who finds joy in this world.