The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

by Pema Chödrön

Book Overview

"A lively and accessible take on ancient techniques for transforming terror and pain into joy and compassion," from beloved Buddhist teacher Pema Ch?dr?n (O, The Oprah Magazine) Lifelong guidance for... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1570629218
• ISBN13: 9781570629211
• Release Date: August 2002
• Publisher: Shambhala
• Length: 160 Pages
• Weight: 0.54 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

A great place to begin changing

The book provides so much wisdom but without being pretentious. Pema gives her own examples of taking these practices and failing at them. She points out how mediation is hard for EVERYONE. You don't just one day have a good session and it's like that all the time. She brings to this book many ways we can practice love and compassion for ourselves and others. I've already been using a few of them daily...most of the time. I sometimes forget or feel too overwhelmed to. And she assures us that is normal. That is okay. She addresses what you maybe should or shouldn't do if you're truly overwhelmed, anxious, etc. I appreciate her writing this, knowing that we will try, do well, fall out and fail at it, and come back again. It's human.

Wow. Floored by how much I love this book

Pema Chodron does an excellent job, teaching us how to remain steadfast and flexible in a world that is absolutely unpredictable and ever-changing. She discusses practices in meditation, aspirations, and exploring the places that scare us to be the teachers that light up the darkness within our own minds. Absolutely recommend this book for anyone interested in Buddhism, meditation, or anyone looking for guidance in staying present in chaos.

My favorite author

I have bought this book numerous times because I keep giving away my copy to someone else when they seem like they need it. It’s a wonderful book to adjust the way you think.

Be. Here. Now.

In the current age of anxiety, Pema Chödrön is both a refreshing and challenging voice. Basically, she encourages us to see problems as spiritual opportunities. Instead of trying to run from discomfort, she advocates staying put and learning about ourselves. Instead of habitually reaching for whatever palliative gives relief -- always temporary -- she suggests feeling and observing our discomforts, becoming more fully present in our lives, learning how to be truly here now. Only through this process, she says, can we experience the deep joy of being alive.This is a great companion volume to her book "When Things Fall Apart." It elaborates on themes introduced there, describing several practices of Tibetan Buddhism, some ancient and long forgotten, which help us not only cope with anxiety but use it to overcome fearfulness. This is an important spiritual effort because while we typically think of hate as the enemy of love, it is really fear that makes love difficult. Fear immobilizes us, makes us pull the covers over our heads, and isolates us from others.Chödrön, a student of Chögyam Trungpa, encourages the consistent practice of meditation. And she discounts the usual results-driven expectations people associate with it, pointing out that as we confront our true selves in meditation, it often becomes more and more difficult, not easier. And for those who have found meditation fiercely frustrating, as I have, she has alternatives. The practice of "tonglen" is one simple spiritual ritual that can be done anywhere, anytime, providing a dramatic and freeing shift in emotional perspective. Learning not to let disappointment, anger, and hurt trigger our personal melodramas, which sap our energy, we can find our way to greater equanimity and become a less destructive presence in the world.I strongly recommend this book as a welcome spiritual tonic in troubled times, whether that trouble originates elsewhere or from within. As with her other books, you can read and reread it, each time discovering much to learn and reflect on -- and in her words, "this is news you can use."

Profound, practical guide to attaining wisdom

I've read this book three times in two weeks. I read so many books about wisdom. The Four Agreements (not so good), meditation by Jack Kornfeld books, Nietzche, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. I've read Pema Chodron's previous books, and those didn't speak to me as deeply as this one does. I don't read just to pass the time. I read to find wisdom. This book contains deep wisdom. The author lays out ways to analyze ourselves, our emotions and our thoughts. She discusses how we as humans react to our thoughts and pain. Her book analyzes the causes and roots of suffering. She then asks "why do must people suffer in such a similar way?". Decades of acquired wisdom are then offered. The causes and roots of suffering are our fleeing from pain, running for comfort. Fleeing without knowing why, fleeing without knowing where we are going. The descriptions of human behaivor are spot on accurate. This describes so many Western philosophers, political reformers, talented artists, and many people who are looking to find 'the one true way'. After laying out the causes of suffering, she distills her understanding of human behaivor, and gives us ways to approach these problems. Practical, approachable ways that you can build on over time. This isn't a set of principles of "Look at the world with happiness, and you too will be happy", or a collection of trite sayings to convince yourself "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you". Slogans don't allow us to analyze and understand the root causes of our pain and suffering. This book lays out those causes. And it lays out ways we can study suffering, and use our efforts to transform our lives from unsure, troubled beings to people who have a firm grasp of themselves. This self understanding leads to lots of confidence. And she uses a scientific method for this analysis. There are two books i read over and over. "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind", which i've been learning from regularly for 4 years. And now this one. Suzuki Roshi said 'We are always looking for something, without knowing what we are doing'. We are looking for happiness. This book studies what is happiness, what is suffering, why is it so temporal, and what can i do about attaining it.And it helps us understand what we are doing.May you benefit from this wisdom as much as I have. "Science is best defined as a careful, disciplined, logical search for knowledge about any and all aspects of the universe, obtained by examination of the best available evidence and always subject to correction and improvement upon discovery of better evidence. What's left is magic. And it doesn't work." --James Randi

A simple guide

Pema Chodron managed in her little book to speak to me as if I were in a week long retreat in the mountains meeting with her once at the end of each day. Her gentle encouragement to face what is painful within and without us with compassion are like the words of a long time friend and trusted spiritual advisor. Someone whom you know is unconditionally interested in your well being. It is a "how to" book that does not add anxiety to our inability to be perfect. A "how to" book about what? About being open, about relaxing and surrendering to the uncertainties and insecurities of life. It is a book helpful to life and the goodness of life. I thank the author for her effort in writing it.

"May we lead the life of a warrior."

"I offer this guide on the training of the compassionate warrior," Pema Chodron writes in the Prologue of her newest book. "May it help move us toward the places that scare us. May it inform our lives and help us to die with no regrets" (p. 2). Chodron is a Buddhist nun, and the resident teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Chogyam Trungpa was her teacher. When Chodron was about six years old, an old woman told her, "Little girl, don't you go letting life harden your heart" (p. 3). Chodron offers this "pith instruction" as the central teaching of her this book. She writes, "we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice" (p. 3). Chodron quotes Albert Einstein, who observed "a human being . . . experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty" (p. 9). To escape this prison, Chodron encourages us to live life with an enlightened heart and mind ("bodhichitta"), and by analogy, with the "rawness of a broken heart" (p. 4). "This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It can humble us when we're arrogant and soften us when we are unkind. It awakens us when we prefer to sleep and pierces through our indifference. This continual ache of the heart is a blessing that when accepted fully can be shared with all" (p. 4). "Each of us has a variety of habitual tactics for avoiding life as it is" (p. 15), Chodron writes. She teaches us that through the heart practices of sitting meditation (the "natural seat" and "home ground" of bodhichitta training, p. 23), loving-kindness, compassion, tonglen, joy, and equanimity, wherever we are, we can train as a bodhichitta warrior. "Bodhisattva training encourages us to have a passionate involvement with life," Chodron says, "regarding no emotion or action as unworthy of our love and compassion, regarding no person or situation as unacceptable" (p. 115). "Warriors-in-training need someone to guide them," Chodron says, "a master warrior, a teacher, a spiritual friend, someone who knows the territory well and can help them find their way" (p. 113). For some people, reading this book along with Chodron's previous books, START WHERE YOU ARE and WHEN THINGS FALL APART, may be enough. Chodron is a wise teacher. Rather than praising these three books all day, I'll conclude by saying this book is sure to become one of the most trusted dharma resources on my bookshelf. G. Merritt