Our Secret Rules: Why We Do the Things We Do

By Jordan Weiss

Book Overview

We all live according to rules that regulate our behaviors. Some rules-ones we are conscious of- are clear. Others, however, are unconscious, and when we do things that go against them, we experience stress, anxiety, apprehension, and emotional exhaustion-and we never know why. This book offers a unique system that helps uncover our most secret rules. Once we are aware of them, we can then learn to live within their boundaries, or we can attempt to change them.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 075700010X
• ISBN13: 9780757000102
• Release Date: September 2001
• Publisher: Square One Publishers
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.1" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

A Journey of Self Discovery

"Our Secret Rules" deals with the secret rules that regulate an individual's behavior. All of us know about our conscious, obvious rules and how these affect our behavior. But what about those other rules, the ones we hold deep down inside that are not so obvious but still affect our behavior. Jordan Weiss takes us on a trip to discover the rules we hold and how those rules affect us. He does this by setting up a scenario, asking a question about it, and then asking us to choose one of three answers to the question. Each of the three answers are then explained so you can understand the subconscious rules that are related to the answer you chose. Jordan Weiss, MD takes on several important categories in his analysis. The first area to be discussed is Money, then Work and Career, then Gender Roles, Power and Control, Health, Personal Expression, Friendship, Spirituality, Sex, and Love. Some of the scenarios will present easy answers for the reader and others will present more difficult questions to answer, but answer them you must if you want to understand the internal rules that control your behavior.The one thing that I did not like was that some of the scenarios don't offer enough information to choose one of the answers. For example, in the Gender Roles area there is a scenario that goes like this: "You serve in the military and are presently in combat. Your safety depends on the courage and skill of your superiors. An error in judgment could be fatal to one or more members of your squad. Your direct superior, who is a woman, commands a specific course of action. One of your team members - a man who is a highly experienced fighter - disagrees and refuses to comply. Who do you follow?" The answer choices are: "A) I trust my superior and I will obey her commands, B) I don't have confidence in my commanding officer; I feel better going with the man's opinion, or C) I have a tendency to trust the man's opinion, but to avoid court-martial, I will do what I am told." There is simply not enough information to make any kind of informed opinion. What is her experience level with actual combat? Why does the other experienced fighter have a problem with the command? Is his argument reasonable? Is her reason for the command reasonable? Does he not want to comply because he has a problem with her being in command or is there a legitimate reason? Was she ordered to issue her command from someone above her who is sitting safely elsewhere not even familiar with the current situation? There are so many possibilities that make a difference as to whether I would choose A or B that it is hard to choose either. Further information could move the decision solidly from one to the other. While he raises some very good scenarios and they can point to very good information about yourself, they often are not simple enough to be reduce to three possible answers. Of course, you pick the best that you can of the three and read all the explanations

A unique system to discover unconscious motivations

Written by a practicing psychiatrist Jordan Weiss, Our Secret Rules: Why We Do the Things We Do offers a wealth of fascinating psychological insights and works successfully as a useful and user friendly self-help guide addressing all sorts of beliefs, regulations, and behaviors that govern our personal lives, whether we are aware of them or not. Presenting a unique system to discover the unconscious motivations that affect one's own choices, and showing how to turn one's impulses and subconscious "rules" to one's advantage, Our Secret Rules is a superbly presented and highly recommended informational and instructional guide to self-discovery, knowledge, and empowerment.