Don't Make Me: A Parent's Field Guide to PDA - Real Scripts for Demand Avoidance, Meltdowns, and Everyday Standoffs

By John Shoufler

It's 11pm and you're Googling "why does my child scream when I ask them to brush their teeth" - again.

The sticker charts failed. The consequences failed. "Just be firm" made it worse. Then you found a term that fit your kid like a key in a lock: PDA - Pathological Demand Avoidance, an anxiety-driven need to resist everyday demands that's common in autistic and neurodivergent kids.

Most PDA books explain the theory. This one hands you the words.

Don't Make Me is a flip-to-your-crisis field guide. Turn to the standoff you're having right now - getting dressed, screen time, the bath, school refusal, the full meltdown - and get:

What's really happening in your child's nervous systemWhat not to say - the instinctive line that backfiresThe exact words to try instead, using declarative language and low-demand strategiesHow to de-escalate when it's already blowing upHow to recover afterward, for your child and for you

Inside: 50+ real flashpoints with ready-to-say scripts, plus plain-English chapters on low-demand parenting, declarative language, riding out autism meltdowns without making them worse, flexible routines that invite instead of command, getting a school evaluation and IEP/504 support, and surviving caregiver burnout.

You're not failing. Your child isn't broken, manipulative, or bad. The standard playbook was written for a different kid. This one was written for yours.

Fewer explosions. More connection. A calmer house, built one lowered demand at a time - starting tonight.

Educational; not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H7TB1R3D
• ISBN13: 9798897230495
• Release Date: July 2026
• Publisher: John Shoufler
• Length: 140 Pages
• Weight: 0.39 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.3" x 6.0" x 9.0"