An Empty Lap

by Jill Smolowe

Book Overview

"Joe and I had been forthright about children. I was pretty sure I wanted them, Joe was pretty sure he didn't. Since we each perceived in the other some room for movement, the difference didn't worry us. Then priorities shifted, needs changed...."
In her late thirties, journalist Jill Smolowe's life and career at Time magazine was on track. Her husband, Joe, was still her most trusted confidante and best friend. And now that she...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B000O68PPC
• ISBN13: 9780671004378
• Release Date: October 1998
• Publisher: Atria Books
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.6" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Very personal, deserves a total read

This is a book that must be read from beginning to end. It starts off kind of hard to take-- two adults seemingly set on pursuing their own goals, almost selfishly, certainly idealistically and wholeheartedly "90s." Why would anyone care? But as the book progresses,it becomes clear that it's really about the openness to love. And when the husband--at first a very reluctant father-- holds his adoptive daughter Becky in his arms and sings to her, the gap closes, the links forge. If you're a parent, imagine your child has been lost-- at a beach, an amusement park, a shopping mall-- wouldn't you put aside your own needs and desires and come together with your partner/spouse to find the child? Wouldn't the child become not only the focus but at that moment--and perhaps many others--the single most important thing in your life? I think maybe that's what happened with this couple, and this book is about their journey to that willingness, that openness-- that love. I dunno, but in my humble opinion (and as a mother), I saw this book to be about...sharing. If they could do it, so could we. I'd like to see a followup. I bet Joe and Jill have never ever looked back. And I bet, too, that Becky is a pretty happy kid.

A Journey to Parenthood

Jill Smolowe has written, not just a journey, but an odyssey as she courageously discloses the internal struggles she and her husband faced in their attempts at parenthood. Obviously her husband preferred to stay in an uncommitted lifestyle, but finally agreed to marriage, a home in the suburbs and a child. This is not always an easy tale to read, as the main characters, including the author, lay bare their true emotions and feelings. However, it would help any couple struggling through this journey face the realities of depression, failures, doubts, racism and ultimately joy. No issue is sugar-coated.I found the book compelling reading. I can't recommend it more highly.

An Exquisitely Powerful Story of Adoption and Parenthood

Jill Smolowe's book, "An Empty Lap,' was one of the most powerful books I have read in a decade. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in learning about the adoption process and the challenges of fertility. It details the author's personal quest to have a child. 'An Empty Lap' is extremely well written and easy to read. The story is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. It recounts the travails of the available medical interventions explored to counter the couples' fertility problems. I personally found this section most informative. When the author and her husband finally began to research the adoption process, some of the roadblocks and setbacks they faced were devastating. I have since met numerous people who faced similar experiences in the adoption process. It is painful to know that there are so many wonderful children needing adoption and that the actual process of adoption can be so arduous. Their personal experiences while adopting a Chinese child were informative, encouraging and a great starting point for anyone interested in exploring the possibilities of adopting abroad. Jill is an award-winning journalist and rarely agrees to do television interviews. When they ran her story in People Magazine, she agreed to do a number of television interviews because the topic was so personal and powerful for her. This book is a treasure and would be a welcomed addition to your own personal library. After reading it, you will want to recommend it to anyone considering adoption. Reader's Digest felt so highly about the book that they featured it worldwide in a range of languages in condensed versions. I think it is worth reading the original book cover to cover. You would not want to miss any detail of this bittersweet story. It will certainly touch you forever. I feel very comfortable giving 'An Empty Lap' a five-star rating.

Aid and Comfort

This book should be of great comfort to anyone who is going through infertility or is thinking about adoption. The author's honesty and openness is as refreshing as it is painful. While I myself have not been through this particular ordeal, parts of her struggles with her husband rang a familiar note, as I expect they might with any couple that has an honest and equal-footed relationship. Her descriptions of her experience also helped me better understand what some of my friends went (or are going) through. I recommend it both to anyone who is dealing with infertility and/or adoption, and to anyone who has a loved one currently caught up in those emotion-fraught issues.

Courageous book

Anyone dealing with infertility or considering adoption will be well served by reading this book. The author does not sugar coat. She is honest and open, which is as refreshing as it is painful -- and leaves you feeling much less alone. Nor is she afraid to speak about the way these issues threaten to tear up the very bases of a marriage. This is not an easy book to read -- but you come out the other end much wiser about the true nature of the issues.