1-2-3 Magic: 3-Step Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting

by Thomas W. Phelan

Book Overview

"Dr. Phelan's strategies have seen a resurgence in the parenting world. Maybe that's why you feel like everywhere you go, you keep overhearing other moms say to their misbehaving children, 'That's one. That's two. That's three.' And then you watch in disbelief as their kid actually stops!" -- PopSugar MomsAre you the parent of a strong-willed child? Is bedtime a nightly battle? Are you looking to discipline without stress?Since kids don't come with...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 149262988X
• ISBN13: 9781492629887
• Release Date: February 2016
• Publisher: Sourcebooks
• Length: 320 Pages
• Weight: 0.87 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 5.9" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

The best parenting book we have read

The best parenting book/advice we have been able to receive yet is from this book. Simple to follow, concrete in what you and your child are expected to do and applicable to many years of child-raising. My husband and I greatly recommend this book to other parents.

For my daughters daughter. Lol

Parents will find this helpful to discipline their children.

SImple y efectivo

El autor trata a los nin~os como animales que deben ser domesticados. En ninguna parte se menciona la palabra amor o cariño (creo). Dicho esto, el libro presenta un metodo muy simple y eficaz para que los niños dejen de hacer algo indebido o desagradable. Tambien propone un metodo mas complejo y menos efectivo para estimularlos a que empiezen a hacer algo (como por ejemplo vestirse o irse a dormir). El metodo funciona y los consejos y distinciones son indespensables para criar en buena forma a un niño.

The only thing has worked for this parenting book addict!!!

I have read over a dozen parenting books including Playful Parenting, Easy to love, Difficult to Discipline, Picking Your Battles, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles, P.E.T. and Unconditional Parenting just to name a few. This though is the first book parenting book, I've ever reviewed, because it's the only one that has truly helped me. I've tried every possible approach w/ my 3 1/2 yr old and felt so hopeless that I even entered therapy to try to get at the root of my parenting difficulties. Well what I realized the real problem was that I was reading a lot of parenting books that while were wonderful in their idealistic views, were just not realistic. They were in fact causing me to view my daughter as a "little adult" and in turn making me and her crazy. Now things are very clear, I have a plan, she knows what to expect. For probably the last 1.5 yrs, I've been in yelling matches with my daughter at least once a day. And after reading this book, I have not yelled at her even once for almost 2 weeks now. I'm enjoying my daughter so much for the first time since she was a baby and she in turn seems much happier and secure now that I am the confident mother she so desparately has been needing all along. Anyway, if you rather have a straightforward plan that anyone can implement rather than an abstract theory that takes the patience of a saint to stick to, then this book is for you!!

Muy útil.

Es muy útil como una herramienta para educar niños sin el uso continuó del regaño y castigo, especialmente para padres primerizos.

A Sensible Philosophy that Worked for Us

Tom Phelan presented a discipline program recently to my school district and he entertained and enlighted 300 parents of children of all ages. He was fabulous! He gave us many specific examples of what are kids do and say and what we can do differently to change their behavior. He addressed discipline regarding 2 types of behaviors... "Stop" behavior (like bad words, hitting, whining and disrespectful attitude)and "Start" behavior ( like getting the kids to do their homework, chores, clean up, use manners etc.) He emphasized that "the Magic" it is not so much the counting of...1, 2, 3 but rather how you choose to say it...in a calm yet athoritative manner so that the child knows the parent means business. He also talked about the importance of discussion outside the heat of the moment with the child either in a one-on-one discussion or a family meeting. Our 2-way communication with our children now involves more listening to one another and less lecturing. I realized that I had been doing the count all wrong expecting the magic to happen...threatening and screaming the numbers at the top of my lungs finding myself reaching 2 and 3/4...2 and 7/8 and feeling my kids were in total control and that I was a failure with the technique that was working so well for my neighbor. Listening to Dr. Phelan and reading his book taught me how to use this method correctly and to my surprise it is actually now working with my 6 and 8 year old. I have also found many other positive discipline strategies that work well on my 3 year old in another book called "The Pocket Parent", an A-Z parenting guide chock full of hundreds of suggestions of handling many challenging behaviors of 2-5 year olds. Both books are very compatible in philosophy and are worthy additions to your home library.

No Magic, but: Sane, Simple, Quick - with no yelling. Yay!

I listened to the tape of this book while I commuted. In less than a week I was ready.Within 5 minutes our son understood the new 'rules of the game'. Within 2 days we had a more sane house. Yes, really.The discipline of the old days was 'spank your kid', and many of us reject this. The problem is that there wasn't a replacement that worked. So some parents keep spanking, some parents just yell all day. Either way, it's not a happy feeling of control. The basics of the 1-2-3 method are simple, kid-understandable, quick-to-implement, & quick to explain. (So you can even get care-takers, teachers, cub-scout leaders in on the game - to have some consistency.) But don't kid yourself - the real value is in understanding all of it.I don't believe I'm actually writing this but - just try it and you'll be a believer too.I loved the audio tape especially. In the first few minutes of the tape, the initial '1-2-3 Magic' is revealed. I wanted to start that day. Then examples, tactics for multiple kids and reinforcement follow. All of it is key to recognizing your kid's techniques for handling YOU, and creating the sane environment we all wish for.OK, life still isn't perfect, but this information goes a very long way to getting you out of the nightmare you might be in.I've bought copies for my sister, my friends, and my church. Every time I see a screaming parent and a crying kid, (or a nasty, defiant kid), I wish I had the nerve to give them a copy. No, I don't work for the author, but I sure would like to thank him. ;-)