Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda: Overcoming Regrets, Mistakes, and Missed Opportunities

by Arthur Freeman

Book Overview

Who of us can claim never to have made a mistake, missed a goal, regretted a choice, or suffered because of another's action? For those who suffer from a constant sense of regret about the past, who feel their present lives have been immutably shaped by actions they could or should or would have taken but didn't, real help is at hand. In clear, uncomplicated language, Dr. Arthur Freeman, a leading exponent of cognitive therapy, and his colleague Rose...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060973358
• ISBN13: 9780060973353
• Release Date: February 1992
• Publisher: William Morrow & Company
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.4" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Practical Advice--the rest is up to you!

I admit it...I'm a perfectionist and an all-or-nothing sort of person. I'm also prone to global labeling and always want a guarantee of success without risk. So, in dealing with the aftermath of a divorce, a relationship on the rocks, a stalled career, and financial collapse, it was incredible to find a book that gave practical advice (far better than the therapist I've seen) and the tools to change my life for the better. This book is well-written and has very little jargon. The authors don't sugarcoat or minimize the problems and are quite candid that people in need of their advice face a lifetime of continual work to keep from falling back into the woulda/coulda/shoulda traps. Since most of us W/S/C folks spend a lot of time thinking, changing your thoughts really does translate into a new life! This book is a fast read...I was so hooked that I read it in two days, before and after work. Re-reading it is very useful and it doesn't hurt to take notes as you go along. The pits of despair are still there but I'm not going to wallow in them any longer. This book was my lifeline out...maybe it will help you too.

Clear thinking about the road ahead

The authors have done a superb job in laying out strategies for breaking free of "regret" thinking and existing. One of the best suggestions they make is to stop demanding a guarantee of a perfect outcome before taking action -- and thereby being paralyzed into inaction -- and simply start thinking about what you can do to bring about circumstances that, while still not perfect, are better than what you have now. Great book. Many great self-help suggestions. Highly recommended.

Clever title, clever content

This aptly named book teaches the reader to deal with "what might have been and never was." It is an excellent map that navigates the reader through the all to familiar feelings of regret that haunt everyone. If there are those of you out there who are looking to get out from under some heavy regrets, there is no better place to start. James Green, author of "If There's One Thing I've Learned."

Getting over the past was never so easy!

After going through an unwanted divorce, I really was looking for something that would help me get past mourning over my lost relationship. So I ordered several books on "moving on" but this was by far the best. The authors explain in layman's terms the basis of cognitive therapy, which basically says that it is our thoughts about events which bother us. If we can change our thoughts, then our feelings will follow. This book is packed full of simple, yet understated advice that anyone could benefit from reading.One of my favorite quotes from the book occurs at the end of a chapter and basically says, "Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting where you've been. It means that where you've been is not the only place you can go." I realized that I was stuck in wanting my past relationship (or one just like it) that I didn't know I could have something different.Anyway, this is a definite for anyone who is afraid to move ahead because they "might" make the wrong decision or they "should" know the perfect answer. And if you have made a wrong choice or completely missed the mark, then this book will help you not only learn to forgive yourself, but also help you to begin taking baby steps in taking new risks and realizing that "Plan B" or C or D might be just as rewarding or maybe even better than the already failed Plan A.

A book with humor to help people who are depressed.

This very readable self help book is serious and funny at the same time. The humor helps a person who is avoiding problems get going. The ideas about changing thinking and behaviour to improve mood are most helpful and sensible. I also enjoyed seeing this man speak recently. Truely an inspiring and helpful person who knows the territory of emotional problems.