Wild Pumpkins: A Field Guide to Identification, Cleaning, Training, and Survival."

By Rod Knier

WARNING TO ALL PUMPKIN LOVERS...
Every autumn, millions of unsuspecting families wander into pumpkin patches believing they're simply choosing the perfect pumpkin for Halloween. But what if no one has ever told you the truth?
What if some pumpkins... are wild?

Introducing the delightfully absurd new humor book that answers questions nobody thought to ask-but everyone secretly needs answered:

This beautifully illustrated parody field guide is packed with laugh-out-loud "scientific" observations and completely unreliable advice, including: How to tell the difference between a dangerous wild pumpkin and a well-behaved domestic pumpkin.Why you should never underestimate the dreaded pumpkin stampede.Safe techniques for cleaning a wild pumpkin without becoming the next victim of "pumpkincide."The proper methods for training your pumpkin as a household helper, cooking assistant, security guard, or even a professional athlete.Shocking warnings about aggressive stems, mob mentality, narcissistic pumpkins, and other alarming behaviors that pumpkin experts have ignored for far too long.Filled with whimsical watercolor illustrations on nearly every page, this tongue-in-cheek guide looks wonderfully serious while delivering one hilarious surprise after another. It's the kind of book that makes people smile, laugh out loud, and immediately hand it to someone else saying, "You have to read this "
Whether you're a pumpkin enthusiast, a lover of quirky satire, or simply someone who enjoys a good laugh during the harvest season, this book is guaranteed to brighten your autumn.
Just remember...
The next time you're standing in a pumpkin patch and one of those pumpkins seems to roll toward you...
It may not be your imagination.
Stay alert. Stay safe. And whatever you do... watch the stem.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0HBR4MTBH
• ISBN13: 9798188309626
• Release Date: July 2026
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 25 Pages
• Weight: 0.14 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.1" x 6.0"