Why Marry Jewish?: Surprising Reasons for Jews to Marry Jews

by Doron Kornbluth

Book Overview

It's a question many young singles have asked themselves at one point or another. Here are some very convincing answers to the question. Author Doron Kornbluth presents some hard-and-fast evidence... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1568712502
• ISBN13: 9781568712505
• Release Date: January 2003
• Publisher: Targum Press
• Length: 181 Pages
• Weight: 0.70 lbs.

Customer Reviews

Evidence that a mixed marriage can make you miserable

This is the only book that I know of that proves a simple fact: If you marry someone of a different religion, your married life may likely be miserable, even if you don't care about your religion. This principle, so well researched and presented in the book, can just as well apply to Christians, Moslems, Hindus, or any other peoples. In fact, the author himself points this out and much of his evidence comes from the experiences of people in religions other than Judaism.The logic is simple: Marriage is an attempt to merge together two independent individuals with their own life history and baggage. The more common ground between them, the better the chance that the marriage will work. The more differences, in how they view the purpose of life, the proper way of raising children, the proper format of a family celebration, which holidays to celebrate and how, the less the chances that the couple will be able to keep their union from splitting.More convincing than the logic, however, is the massive array of evidence that the author presents to prove his point. The evidence is contemporary, some of it even from Internet chat groups. It is both statistical (overwhelming) and anecdotal. The chances today of a marriage staying together are not good, but when you combine that with the drastically worsened chances introduced by mixed marriage, things look far less than good.One of the best features of this book is that it doesn't mention any of the heart-tugging, guilt-inspiring, arguments that we've all heard over the years, arguments that really don't convince us but just serve to make us feel bad.This book tells you exactly what you can expect from marriage and proves rather entertainingly and professionally that if you want what's best for yourself, you'll marry someone of the same religion. Not because of loyalty, but because you deserve the best pleasure and happiness in your marriage.

A Sensative issue handled with sensativity

Mr. Kornbluth's latest book, Why Marry Jewish, does an excellent job at tackling a very touchy subject within the Jewish community. His sharp insights combined with practical advice will certainly serve as a guide for an open-minded person who is looking for a rational approach to this rather emotional issue. Far too often, the issue of intermarriage only becomes an issue well after it is too late to do anything about it. The time for parents to deal with this issue is before their children start dating, not after they are heavily involved in a relationship. Mr. Kornbluth's approach is to pre-empt the issue and in doing so he will certainly save much unnecessary suffering and anguish. The book reads very well, and it should be on the shelf of every Jewish parent and young adult as well. It serves as an excellent compliment to his previous two book, which are also "musts" for any Jewish home.

my great love

I spent two and a half years of my life with a wonderful Jewish woman named Sharona. We had a very special relationship and got along great in every way. However, when we started to seriously contemplate marriage, things quickly changed. You see, I am Christian, and while I'm not necessarily so religious I grew up in a strong Christian home. And I have come to realize that being Christian is a big part of who I am. What is funny is that until Sharona and I had to really confront the issue of how we would raise our children, our differences of religion never caused any problems. In fact, we had mutual respect for each other's beliefs and even our families were accepting of us being together. But ultimately I realized that I wanted my children to grow up with the traditions I had, and Sharona felt the same way about hers. While we were both willing to compromise about things, you either Baptize the kids or you don't, and you either have some kind of Passover Seder or you don't. So either way, one of us was going to feel that our kids weren't getting what we wanted them to have (or getting what we didn't want them to have). In short, our differences regarding religious outlook went from being something we considered merely as interesting, as an afterthought, to something that became irreconcilable.I applaud Doron Kornbluth for writing this compelling book. Doron writes in an appealing manner and backs up his points with impressive research. Unfortunately, when Sharona and I were beginning to grapple with our issues, we did not have such a comprehensive resource to rely on. I learned the hard way (only by having to finally face tough questions) that I want my kids to really appreciate their Christian faith, and for this reason I am now only dating other Christians. Doron's book could have saved me, and Sharona, a lot of pain. While we had a truly wonderful relationship, in retrospect the hurt just wasn't worth it. Saying goodbye to someone whom you love but whom you realize you just can't spend the rest of your life with is not fun. My hope is that others will figure out ahead of time, partly through carefully reading this book, what I learned the hard way.

Your About-to-Intermarry Friend Will Read This!

If you can get this into the hands of your about-to-intermarry friend, she/he will read this book. That is its greatest strength: It uses an approach that even the most assimilated, Jewishly apathetic person will be moved by. Up until now, there has been no literature appropriate for this challenge, since someone in love with a non-Jew usually has no desire to hear about how nice Judaism is, especially when they know Judaism threatens their love affair. This book speaks to someone who couldn't care less about Judaism, and it shows them that for psychological and sociological reasons, the relationship is going to be a disaster and a nightmare, and Kornbluth's sources and reasoning are impeccable. This book will jar even someone who doesn't care about anything other than having a nice, happy life into rethinking her/his romantic relationship with a non-Jew. There is no comparable tool available to Jewish community workers. This book should be distributed in bulk by all Jewish Federations, by the Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist, and Orthodox educational institutions, and by Hillel and other campus organizations. If we don't jump on this opportunity, then we have testified with our own behavior that we don't care about stopping assimilation, intermarriage, and the terrible demographic losses happening as you read this review.

an ideal food for thought book

I am somewhat surprised at the number of books on the market that tell you how to best deal with the problems of intermarriage and the incredible paucity of material that explains the major advantages of Jews marrying Jews. If you think this book will be racist, narrow-minded or otherwise archaic, forget it. Most of the book could and does refer to Hindu-Muslim relationships, etc.Whether you are Conservative, Reform or reconstuctionist, this book is ideal to get discussions going and bring out into the open everything that is going on beneath the surface.I would add that even intermarried couples could benefit from reading it as they will better understand the situation that they are in