Why Is It Always about You?: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

by Sandy Hotchkiss

Book Overview

In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743214285
• ISBN13: 9780743214285
• Release Date: August 2003
• Publisher: Free Press
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

An ESSENTIAL book--When You Can't Flee from the Narcissist in Your Life

The only thing worse then being married to a narcissist, is divorcing one. (Hell hath no fury like a narcissists' injury). And since my ex is the father of our son, I still must interact with him and his 7 deadly sins of narcissism. This book not only helps to identify the many shades of narcissistic behavior in a variety of settings; there are practical suggestions on how to deal with narcissists-- without getting pulled into their web of blame & shame. While this book did not deal specifically with narcisstic spouses that have been voted off the island, there are plenty of concrete tools and case examples. The chapters on how to prevent raising/creating a narcissistic child were also very enlightening. This book's a keeper.

If you've ever had a Narcissist blow through your life, read this book.

I recently worked for a person with Narcissist Personality Disorder. It took me several months to figure out what was wrong with his behavior, but once I did, I saw that self-preservation was my only way out. Narcissists' behaviors are confusing, frustrating, depressive, and suck the life out of everyone near them. Compulsive liars with no conscience, they levy tremendous damage on anyone who refuses to give them what they want. Once you get away from a Narcissist, rebuilding your life is a challenge but can be done. This book is a good start to understanding where this personality disorder originates, and how you can cope and protect yourself from Narcissists.

Excellent, informative read

Well, I had been dealing with a person with strong narcissistic tendencies which is what prompted me to purchase this book. What I really like that Sandy Hotchkiss does here is she gives us steps for dealing with narcissists: Know Yourself, Embrace Reality, Set Boundaries, Cultivate Reciprocal Relationships. She essentially debunks the myth that all narcissists appear to be arrogant and self-serving; while this is sometimes true, they often come as wolves in sheep's clothing and seem as nice as can be. What Hotchkiss points out is that when idealization is present in a relationship, as well as poor boundaries, you are likely dealing with a narcissist. Good things to know when you may think the narcissist will appear in the guise of "Me, me, me." They are completely self-absorbed, but they may not appear that way, which is why they can be very confusing. Hotchkiss also gives us a lot of excellent info on how narcissists become they way they are, narcissists and addiction, and how our society encourages and even promotes narcissism. An extremely interesting read, with easy-to-understand examples and down-to-earth language.

Knowledge is Strength!

It was less than a year ago that I realized that the numerous and nameless issues I had with my parents, particularly my mother, did in fact have a name - narcissism. Since then, I have read a number of books, trying to get a handle on what this all means. Most of them were quite good and provided insights on their behavior and motivations. This one, however, was the best in terms of explaining how some individuals get this way, how it might affect those around them (all too many ways), and how to protect yourself from all of the emotional hits they will throw at you. The explanations were down to earth, indicating that the author has probably had all too much experience dealing with this problem. Her insights and understanding of the problems those around narcissists experience, both in family and work situations, is phenomenal. I just wish I had had these insights 15 years ago.