Why Good People Do Bad Things: Understanding Our Darker Selves

by James Hollis

Book Overview

Working with the Shadow is not working with evil, per se. It is working toward the possibility of greater wholeness. We will never experience healing until we can come to love our unlovable places,... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1592403417
• ISBN13: 9781592403417
• Release Date: April 2008
• Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.54 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.3" x 8.0"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Warm, explanatory, understanding and forgiving ...

I cannot write that this is the finest book of Dr. Hollis, because having read all but two of his books during the last year, I can only write that every single word, which I have read so far from this man, is fine. I feel blessed and very grateful for having discovered his writings. His words are like a balm on many of my wounds. Through the reading of Dr. Hollis' books, I have learned to go beyond mere acceptance of difficult situations in life to a place of forgiveness, which I had not known before. This and all the other books of Dr. Hollis can help people to transform and to become more gentle-hearted, because they offer explanations for many questions. Not solutions, though. But - at least for me - explanations were what I had been looking for for many years.

A must read

This is one of the most powerful and life-altering books I have ever read. There are insights on practically every page and the depth of understanding of the human mind that Dr. Hollis brings is extraordinary. During a period of difficulty in my life which I am still working through, I stumbled upon this book. The title caught my eye but I was anticipating a Dr. Phil-ish over-simplification of human behavior full of soft answers and plenty of upbeat self-affirmations. I was stunned to find how wrong I was. Dr. Hollis examines not only the individual but how the individual creates the society that begets the evils mankind has brought upon himself over the millennia. I found myself stopping and re-reading passages constantly and because of the profundity on nearly every page, it took me quite a while to finish. Reading a chapter was an exhausting endeavor that challenged me with hours of thought-provoking reflection time just to try and wrap my head around the myriad observations that Hollis provides. In my cynicism, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop - the point at which the author wraps up all of these conundrums with one universal solution, naturally his solution that you have to buy the book to discover. Thankfully, there was no such moment. As anyone knows who has taken the time to really look deep into the darkness within, there are no easy answers in life and no slate cleaning cure-alls that make life better and wipe away the misery. Life is hard. Knowing who you are and why you do what you do just might allow you to avoid the mistakes we all seem determined to re-visit. Still, it remains in our hands to decide and throughout each day we are faced with choices. That is the struggle of our life. This book helped me to understand myself, to see why I was making poor choices, to face the ugliness within myself, and to carefully examine the choices I had been making. I am still taking small steps towards a better future for myself but at least now I am doing so without the blinders of denial, the ignorance of reality avoidance, or the false security of self-destructive behaviors. If you are truly ready for the voyage to the heart of who you are, I can not encourage you enough to pick up this book and read it. It has been a life saver for me. Thanks, Dr. Hollis.

Hollis hits a home-run...AGAIN!

Well Hollis does it again...intrepidly going where no human dares to go and shedding light on much material that most of us would rather not examine. (Don't mind the previous reviewer's dissatisfaction with the God's Shadow chapter. After all, what does the author of a book about increasing impulse buying in supermarkets know about his own shadow, other than the fact that it's already running his life!!)

No easy answers

Hollis always tackles the hard stuff. He offers you the opportunity of awareness without easy standard "self-help" answers. All of his books are worth reading. This one is outstanding.

In-depth, thought-provoking, illuminating

The title might lead a casual reader to dismiss this as just one more lightweight self-help book -- but that's not the case, not in the least! As with Hollis' earlier books, it's a psychologically & philosophically rich examination of the human soul, offering no easy answers, no magic solutions, no simplistic aphorisms in place of real insight. If you truly want to understand your life & its choices, then you have to be willing to do some difficult & often painful emotional work. And that's something few of us are eager to do. Which leads us to the question: do you want to grow, to become more fully conscious, to strive towards wholeness? If so, you'll have to discard protective illusions, stop expecting someone else to solve everything for you, and apply an almost ruthless honesty to yourself. You won't like a lot of what you see in that dark mirror, and you'll try to fend it off, explain it away ... but that's our mistake. If we can acknowledge the part we unconsciously play in our own suffering, we may well learn how to alleviate some of it & live with what remains. Mind you, Hollis never promises an end to suffering, a wondrous makeover that does away with every ugly scar & thought! He has too much respect for the tragic view of human life to hold up an illusion of perfect happiness, no matter how golden & comforting. He's very clear on this: what we need isn't happiness, but meaning. And to find it, we have to be willing to grapple with the Shadow, all that we fear & despise about ourselves, all that we reject & often project onto others. I feel that this is one of Hollis' finest books, in that it possesses an extra depth & richness of insight. It made me look at my own life more deeply than I have in the past, and encouraged me to confront many of its uncomfortable & frightening aspects. At the very least, it will make you think long & hard about yourself. At the most, it may set you forth upon a fascinating & revealing journey. Most highly recommended!