"Why Do I Love These People?": Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family

by Po Bronson

Book Overview

We all have an imaginary definition of a great family. We imagine what it would be like to belong to such a family. No fights over the holidays. No getting on one another's nerves. Respect for individual identity. Mutual support, without being intrusive. So many people believe they are disqualified from having a better family experience, primarily because they compare their own family with the mythic ideal, and their reality falls short. Is that a...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0812972422
• ISBN13: 9780812972429
• Release Date: December 2006
• Publisher: Random House Group
• Length: 400 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.8" x 7.6"

Customer Reviews

Why do I love these People

Wonderful real Stories , that sometimes help you to understand and appreciate your own life - especially if you've often felt you NEVER had a family at all. Do something for yourself and read it.

An Original Look At Family Life

I'm going to admit, the first reason I purchased this book was because of its title: WHY DO I LOVE THESE PEOPLE? I was in a bookstore after it was released and saw a customer pick up the book. She showed it to the person who was with her and she said "Why do I love these people? Because I have to, that's why." The two began laughing, no doubt thinking about members of their own families. Of course intriguing titles are not always enough, and when I read the book flap and saw that it was written by Po Bronson who wrote WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?, I had a pretty good idea that this would be an interesting book. Bronson does not present typical families in this book, nor does he try and find atypical or controversial families to fill the pages. Bookstore shelves are already lined with such titles. Instead, Bronson began corresponding with people, using the method he utilized in WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE and let their stories fill the pages. We meet a wide group of people who have all sorts of struggles such as a woman who wakes from a near death experience and wonders what her life is all about, a man who loses his son and his loss reshapes his life, a woman from Northern Ireland who makes radical changes in her life for the betterment of her children or a woman who decides she needs to cheat on her husband, with his permission, to save a monotonous marriage. These are just a few of the stories. Bronson never sensationalizes his subjects, which may be why even if readers have little or nothing in common with some of the people, they'll still be moved by the stories. Bronson also adds a few editorial comments based on his observations or personal experiences, but overall he allows the people to tell their stories, and he merely (skillfully is more accurate) puts it in written form. Readers of WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE may remember that while the book was praised, there were some criticisms that the book contained too many stories from well to do, usually white people, who could change careers without destroying their lives. While the praise and criticism of WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? is well taken, that's not the case with this book. Readers will be surprised at the diversity in this book. People from a variety of races, religious traditions, and backgrounds are represented and readers come away with a deeper respect for the ties that bind us with those we usually love most, our families, and that even if these bonds can be imperfect and at times seriously flawed, the bonds are real and in many cases, last against a great deal of troubles.

Inspires you to commit to your relationships

I think the most striking part of this book is that you feel comforted by the fact that the problems you're facing in your own relationships are commonplace. They're not dysfunctional. Every family has its share of issues and you don't need to feel overly guilty for yours. The book's underlying theme is that families that honesty, consideration, character, belief and perhaps above everything else - resilience, can get you through the worst debacles and that at the end of the day it's probably (though not always) worth the effort. Stories include: Resentment about controlling parents who appear to display conditional loving and also about appreciating how much of their lives parents sacrifice to bring the kids up; the search for redemption after abandoning a kid or cheating on a wife, the courage required to break relationships that are dead and the perseverance required to bring one back from the dead (and the effect on kids), dealing with the families of your in-laws and family objection to marriage, how to deal with kids who are falling into bad habits when you feel powerless to influence their decisions because they no longer respect you or listen to you, dealing with the death of a child, how we feel obligated to spend time with our families rather than actually wanting to spend time with them and what we are losing, etc. Although it may seem that most people cannot relate to these situations... actually I felt an amazing amount of empathy for the families and came away with a renewed conviction that I can get the perfect family life (with all it's frustrations and headaches) and balance it with everything. If you have any relationship, friendship that you have a certain amount of frustration, resignation about then I strongly recommend this book. It is one of those books that if it hits you at the right time - it could change your relationships and your life.

A great treasure!

Life can be quite a maze of great joys and incredible pain, but every step of the way the greatest thing one can hope for is the capacity to learn and grow. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Pain is a great obstacle and most of us find ourselves trapped for most of our lives by our past. This book is a true blessing. The book is filled with tons of stories from a multicultural array of relationship experiences where people learn to overcome the life's great obstacles and capture the true meaning of being alive. This book came to me at a low point in my life, when hope was slowly fading from my heart. This book gave me faith that pain is not an end, but a bump in life's journey. It is impossible to read this book and not come away inspired and nurtured by the stories of the people in its pages. Do not miss the opportunity to experience this treasure as it will nourish your soul, but be warned-- you will be moved to buy this book for the people you care most about in life because this truly blessed experience is not meant to remain a secret.

A wonderful collection of inspiring stories.

Simply put, this is absolutely a wonderful book. It will bring you to tears, inspire you, give you hope, and create a deep introspection about yourself and your own family. Po's writing is truly a gift. I recommend it highly and I bet you'll want to give it to each member of your family.