When You Love a Man Who Loves Himself

by W. Keith Campbell

Narcissistic men seem like the ultimate catch: self-confident, attractive, charming individuals who are often the life of the party. The narcissist always knows the place to be and who to be seen with. His attention is initially very flattering, but eventually his behavior is not: he becomes aloof and controlling and may cheat. He still seems somewhat interested, however, and often makes enough nice gestures to maintain a girl's interest, leaving...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 140220342X
• ISBN13: 9781402203428
• Release Date: February 2005
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 6.1" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

LIFE SAVER

The day my nemesis narcissist ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I flew out of town and started reading this book on the flight. Five days later, I finished it on the flight home. Although I am still crying, this booked helped me do a lot of healing. I would have bought this book sooner (and it would have saved me unnecessary additional heartache) but too many reviewers said the book was "funny." I found it sad that a book would address such a painful subject with humor. Dating a narcissist feels like a cancer growing inside of you. It eats you alive and spreads like poison. I didn't find a damn thing funny about the HELL I was going through after Narcissist Man turned off the charm and turned on the torture literally overnight! What kind of a monster does NOT call his girlfriend the day after she gets into a car-totalling accident to see how she is feeling? Desperate for help, I reconsidered and bought this book. I did not find it full of humor. On the contrary, the book is very understanding and sympathetic with what women suffer by dating men like the man that shredded my heart. I learned a TON and even though it still hurts, I feel better knowing that it was NOT my fault and that I am not alone. The book teaches that the reason women are so DEVASTATED by these men, even after very short relationships (mine was 2.5 months) is because the narcissist is so callous and so cruel and absolutely, positively, NOT SORRY. Apologies were invented to soften pain and disappointment. Narcissists will not apologize because they literally feel NO GUILT. It is as if they are not even human. This is what makes the pain so unbearable and what causes you to not be able to stop thinking about him. You can't make sense out of insanity but your brain is programmed to apply logic. You cannot, so your suffering continues long after the relationship ends, like a broken record that refuses to stop playing. If you suspect that you are dating a narcissist or if one just broke up with you, RUN, don't walk. Buy this book immediately. The longer you stay with him, the harder it will be to leave. Additionally, after the breakup, the narcissist may try to get you back in order to feed his ego. You need to protect yourself with every available means. This book has got to be the clearest available on the subject of narcissistic men. As I read it, I found myself constantly saying, "I said that very thing about Jon!!!" I'm talking about even obscure things, not just the obvious. That is how much the author knows exactly what he is talking about. Please, don't wait. You need to start healing NOW.

do YOU love a man who loves himself?

If you love a man who loves himself, you really need to read this book. W. Keith Campbell has written a very informative and useful book for women who find themselves involved with a narcissist. It is refreshing to read a book about narcissism by an author who is actually an expert on the subject. Although the book is written for the everyday reader, the author does not "write down" or condescend to his audience. I really like the title the author chose, because rather than the term "narcissism", he chose to use the defining characteristic of narcissism "a man who loves himself". I picture someone in just the situation I was in a few years ago, with no clue what narcissism is, looking through relationship books trying to make sense of the strange thing that was going on in her life, and picking up this book. Before I discovered what narcissim was, I wasted my time reading relationship books like "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them", which did not help me figure out that my significant other had a severe personality disorder. I, like many others in a relationship with a pathological narcissist, was being conned out of money, cheated on and gaslighted, made to think that I was crazy for suspecting such a handsome and intelligent man was lying to me. If you are dealing with a narcissist, you need to read this book. Thank you Mr. Campbell.

Well-researched and helpful

I have read all the books on narcissism, and this is one of the very best. Written by a psychology professor after years of his own and others' research, it reviews basic personality traits of the narcissist that are easily recognized if you know or love one, but rarely mentioned in other books. His writing is simple, humorous, and very insightful, as well as helpful in assessing your own situation. If you've ever wondered about a relationship with someone who believes he/she is smarter, better-looking and more entitled than others, read this book! Interesting and funny.

Witty and intelligent! A must-have!

I have never dated a narcissist (that I can remember), but I have had the misfortune to have worked with a couple! This book was useful for me to understand them better. The book is pretty funny (real-life stories and amusing scenarios), but it's also clearly based on solid science. I had several "a-ha!" moments while I was reading it, and I'm sure people who have dated narcissists will have similar insights. I found it both intellectually fascinating and also practical. I recommend it highly!

Very helpful book!

This is a great book, a combination of real-life stories and first-rate research that's also wryly humorous at times. The combination makes for a very informative and enjoyable read. The information in the book is extremely helpful. Because I teach psychology myself, I learned about Dr. Campbell's research several years ago. Realizing that my ex was a narcissist finally explained why things just weren't working. Leaving that relationship was the best thing I ever did. And when I started dating again, I looked for someone who was definitely NOT a narcissist. I'm happy to say I found him, and it really does make all the difference. Now when I teach a class in personality psychology, I hand out a copy of a narcissism measure. I sometimes call it "the boyfriend test"! A form of this questionnaire is in the book. It's probably the most helpful screening test for men ever invented, because you might not realize right away that someone is a narcissist (they can be so charming at first). This book tells you how to spot the narcissists. Very few relationship books out there give such solid and helpful advice. Buy one for yourself and several to hand out to friends!