When Children Grieve : For Adults to Help Children Deal With Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

By John W. James, Russell Friedman, Leslie Matthews

Book Overview

"Once in a generation, a book comes along that alters the way society views a topic. When Children Grieve is an essential primer for parents and others who interact with children on a regular basis." -- Bernard McGrane, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, Chapman University and U.C. Irvine The first--and definitive--guide to helping children really deal with loss from the authors of the The Grief Recovery Handbook Following deaths, divorces, pet loss, or the confusion of major relocation, many adults tell their children "don't feel bad." In fact, say the authors of the bestselling The Grief Recovery Handbook , feeling bad or sad is precisely the appropriate emotion attached to sad events. Encouraging a child to bypass grief without completion can cause unseen long-term damage. When Children Grieve helps parents break through the misinformation that surrounds the topic of grief. It pinpoints the six major myths that hamper children in adapting to life's inevitable losses. Practical and compassionate, it guides parents in creating emotional safety and spells out specific actions to help children move forward successfully.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060196130
• ISBN13: 9780060196134
• Release Date: June 2001
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.00 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.3" x 1.0" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

A Must Read for All Parents

This book should be required for all parents. If you want to understand the basics of human and/or child behavior, this book is a must read. The book succinctly and lovingly explains the concept of "loss" and the emotional and physical responses to it-what we would normally call grief.The beauty of this book is that grief is placed in a larger context. In other words, according to the authors, grief is the response when experiencing a "massive change or end from everything familiar." Therefore, children, and adults, can grieve a variety of situations: loss of a pet, moving to another neighborhood, or changing schools. Therein rests the beauty of this book. This book explains how to help children. More importantly, the adults who are required to provide the assistance will learn more about their children and themselves.So highly recommended, there are not enough stars to express this book's importance.

Written With Gentle, Healing Hands

I am a conservative, grumpy, old, Lutheran pastor, vehemently opposed to all things "New Age." I despise the fads of pop-psychology. "Touchy-Feely" advice from so-called experts, who demand exorbitant fees, often makes me want to wretch. So, I approached this book filled with trepidation. There was no need for my concerned. Writing with extraordinary gentleness and common sense Mr. James, Mr. Friedman and Dr. Matthews have provided adults with an invaluable outline on how to shepherd the children in their lives through loss, grief and recovery. Every parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, priest, rabbi, nurse or physician who expects the children in their lives to suffer the death of a pet, suffer the death of a relative, move or endure a divorce will benefit from reading this book. Do yourself a favor. Read this book for the sake of the children whom you love. It is well worth the investment of your time.Then, do yourself a second favor, and place a copy of this book in your church, synagogue or public library for the others who will grow by reading it.

A wonderful tool

After reading this book my eyes have been open to the conversations I have had with the children I teach and those that I come in contact with. I felt that this book is one that anyone in any profession could relate to. The book's focus is on how to help our child deal with grief or loss but I feel that it even teachs us, as adults, how to communicate with children in an every day conversation. During the first 7 chapters the authors focus on the myths that we as adults communicate to our children, and inturn see the myths that were communicated to us as children. Everyone at some point in their life will deal with loss/grief of some sort and also helping someone they love deal with loss/grief. We all must be equipted with the knowledge of how to do this effectivly. This book is an easy reading book that at anytime can be pulled off your home library shelf and put to good use.

WHEN CHILDREN GRIEVE

I read parts of this book outloud at the dinner table. It intrigued my nine year old daughter so much SHE started reading it. She came into my bedroom shocked one day and said, "Mom get this...did you know some parents don't use the word dead or died around their children? Instead, they spell the word. Isn't that crazy?" "Yes it is crazy", I replied. This book is a god send. As a family we were all there when our dog of 13 years died. We cried, shared memories,laughed and said good bye. It was a perfect experience for our family and my nine year old and six year old were a part of it. Loss is an opportunity for growth...this book helps us with that.

The most useful book to assit children adjust to change.

As a Mental Health Professional and specialist in the field of grief, I was asked to review the final manuscript of 'When Children Grieve.' In all honesty I could not put it down. It is easy to read, warm, truthful,and above all practical. Finally a book that tells you exactly what to do and why. I had the opportunity to use the information in 'When Children Grieve' with a group of boys ages 12-16 who were labeled 'behavioral/emotional' problems within the public school system. The results were incredible. It certainly reinforced the 'truths' of this book. If we taught our children these principles we would not have all the 'Columbine's' and 'Post Office' traumas that are frequently on the evening news. As a mother, I only wish I had this book when my children were young. I believe 'When Children Grieve' should be in the hands of EVERY person who encounters children both professionally and socially.