Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict

By Peter J. Frost

Book Overview

Using examples of how individuals and organizations have managed emotional pain successfully, this book describes the skills necessary to cope with emotional pain and to manage it effectively. It also offers courses of action for organizations to institutionalize compassion in the face of emotional pain.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1578512573
• ISBN13: 9781578512577
• Release Date: January 2003
• Publisher: Harvard Business School Pr
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 1.39 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.3" x 1.0" x 6.3"

Customer Reviews

A book that's as much for the managed as for managers

Ignore the words on the cover that might suggest that this book is just for managers. Maybe buying books like this is par for managers and maybe even tax deductible, but it's a good investment for you even if you're not a manager and have to fork out for it yourself. True, this book has been written to provide the decision-makers in organisations with advice on managing in a more compassionate way so that their actions defuse any unavoidable emotional anguish for their employees. Yet within its covers are descriptions of strategies which are vital to the well-being of any foot-soldiers who have to deal with-or 'handle'-the effects of insensitive decisions made by their employers. Does work get you down? Do you work in an environment which often seems emotionally toxic because of the way you're managed? And do your colleagues come to you to pour out their grievances? To the extent that you feel even more drained than you might? I would say this book is 'spot on': the sort of guidance that anyone who finds themselves having to support work colleagues can find beneficial. Don't be put off, if you're a UK reader, by the use of phrases like 'compassion' and 'pain', which initially will seem a sharp reminder of this book's origin across the Atlantic. The contents are sound, and pertinent, and could save your life as well as your working life. As a busy union rep at a school in the UK, I've made the mistake of getting involved to the extent of taking on the 'pain' of my colleagues and it's exacted a toll on my health. But now I have some research-based advice and strategies which I feel confident will revive my spirits and my health-whatever my managers decide.

Compassionate research on the topic of compassion and pain

"Toxic emotions at work: how compassionate managers handle pain and conflict" is quite a remarkable book in the field organization and management research. First of all, it is as much a book for people in organizations as it is a book for people studying such organizations. And second, it is a book about the role and actions of heart in organizations, which speaks to your heart as well as about it. In this way, it is a groundbreaking piece of research in its form as well as in its content. Through personal stories shared by people from a wide array of organizations, as well as by the author himself, we are invited as readers to get the inside view on life in such organizations. And the journey takes place through the lens of a hitherto largely invisible or hidden topic: the role of compassion and suffering in organizational life. We see how pain and conflicts are handled by people, who work like amateurs at a radioactive site, to quote one of many metaphors in this book. This is an example of living research about what really matters in organizations, putting the spot light on questions of life and death, pain and suffering, compassion and courage, hope and fear, comfort and despair, trust and betrayal. As the book is written, so to speak, from the line of fire, with many examples of first-hand experience of the topic, it is impossible not to be captured and moved by the stories shared. The phenomenon of toxic handling and pain and suffering becomes very real. Of great value to the field of organizational theory is also the emphasis on all aspects of the human being, not just our social and communicative capacities. Physical, emotional and spiritual strengths and capacities are also discussed and brought to the reader's attention, aspects of which there has been a call in organizational research, in its tendency to treat people as "walking heads".It is also research which I think, when read in-depth, challenges and questions many elements of contemporary, dominate business ideologies. What will happen when the task of toxic handling is both rewarded and seen in organizations, and when toxic handling is a standard question on the agendas of board meetings? And what would have to change in our cultural framework for that to happen? What will happen when the emotional aspects of organizational life are not only treated as an opportunity or problem for management, and enhancement of productivity? When they are given the space to exist in their own right, and for their own right? These are vital questions for the future in many organizations where there is a struggle for survival today. In naming this phenomenon, and creating a legitimate language around it, there is the possibility to create new realities in organizations as well. In calling this phenomenon toxic handling, and in showing how research can be an endeavour of compassion also in its form and presentation, Peter J Frost and his colleagues create new perspectives, new frames and new questi

Mind and heart, Ideal and practice

I really enjoyed reading this book. It is written with a rare blend of mind and heart, and it is thus both thought provoking and moving. The book flows-by with a genuine tone of care and empathy -- actually, a wonderful example of the kind of attitude that Peter Frost is campaigning for.The book created for me an opportunity to reflect upon my own life and work experiences, and I felt Frost managed to involve me, the reader, in the lives of the many people he talked with (and about).I was also impressed by the way Frost managed to put together discussion that cuts through a variety of disciplines, weaving them all into a convincing argument -- taken up from different perspectives and using various levels of analysis. Thus, on the individual level, the book explores the experiences of emotional pain in organizational lives, the work of "toxin handlers" - people who help others to struggle with this pain; and the toll such efforts put on the toxin handlers themselves. On the organization level, the book offers a thorough exploration of the sources of toxicity in organizations, and how organizations can work to reduce toxicity and help toxin handlers in their efforts to heal pain. All in all, Frost manages to integrate and share with his readers much knowledge from Psychology, Biology, Organizational studies and Business (to name just a few disciplines) - and the book still makes an easy and interesting read! In sum, I think this is really a great book. It deals with an important phenomenon - pain in organizations - an experience known to us all. It deals with it with a blend of realism (recognizing that organizations will always produce pain), and optimism (a compassionate way of life, and compassionate organizations can elevate the pain); and of ideals (compassion) and practicality (offering concrete ways to handle pain). It's message should be heard, I think, not only in today's workplaces, but in our Western society at large.

An essential book for working with emotion and compassion

The title is pretty self-explanatory, and the book is a marvelous description of an emerging phenomenon that results from complex and challenging work environments. The notion of toxic organizations isn't new, everyone has a story about one. What is new is the way leaders and managers are trying to deal with toxicity in organizations. As more and more managers develop their authenticity at work, they become more and more open to the swirling currents of emotion that surround them. Mangers who help to manage these currents in organizations become "toxin handlers" and require a whole set of strategies aimed at preserving their health and the health and compassion of the organization. This book opens up a whole new side to management, leadership and action with purpose. It's based on stories of actual practice and contains tools and discussion aimed at increasing the capacity of organizations and people to lead with compassion in times of rapid and emotionally exhausting change.

The emotional side of working life

So often, books about business or leadership either ignore emotions or focus on crassly instrumental manipulation of emotions to promote career success. In contrast, Professor Peter Frost uses everyday language to explore, honestly, the positive and negative emotions that surface in any organization. He is especially eloquent when he describes how pain (associated, for example, with illness, death, career troubles, or family problems) surfaces or is suppressed at work. His vivid, real examples make these problems come alive. Next, he shows how leaders who are unafraid of being honest about emotions, can ease and comfort those who suffer, helping to make work a better place. The stories of these emotional heros and heroines offer leaders a new way of thinking and behaving that could benefit us all.