Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

by Duke Robinson

Book Overview

Are you, like many of us, too nice for your own good? This remarkable book will empower you to get what you need and deserve, out of life...and still be a nice person
If you're like most folks, you were raised to be "nice". Yet now you find yourself asking: "If I'm so nice, why isn't my life better?" Renowned minister and lecturer Duke Robinson has the answer. Robinson says that well-intended behavior is essential to a humane society,...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0446673862
• ISBN13: 9780446673860
• Release Date: November 2000
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.56 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.2" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

A "nice" review!

Wow. OK let me start this out by saying that I really like being nice. I have found that it works to my benefit in many, many occasions. I also think it's better for interpersonal communications and something that we should all practice in order to get along better. I was afraid that by looking at this book I would lose that niceness. That did not happen. However, it did offer me the ability to get what I needed to get and still be considered nice. Just amazing! With most "self-help" books you wind up having to do months and months of self-evaluation and changing tiny things incrementally and it wind up taking forever to actuate any change. This was not the case with "Too Nice for Your Own Good" by Duke Robinson. The great thing about this book is that I needed it in a timely fashion and went straight to the third chapter and found an answer to my problem in the 40 minutes it took to read and digest that chapter. Previous to that I spent two nights being unable to sleep and completely upset over my inability to assert myself in a situation that I was in. So I was left with a "damned if you do, and damned if you don't" situation until I read the chapter that I needed. It was absolutely amazing...and here's why: it allowed me to re-form the way I would say something so that I could still be nice and yet accomplish what I needed to do. I frankly was blown away. I had been struggling with how to do what I needed to do without upsetting other people or feeling guilty at the same time and this book told me exactly how to do that. I guess this review is flawed in that I have not read but two chapters (chapter 3 then the beginning chapter one). However, it absolutely accomplished what I needed it to do in chapter three. I will read the entire book but I was so amazed at the relief that that one chapter brought me that I wanted to immediately review it. I have bought and studied many books for self-improvement. I always believe that you can improve yourself and am in constant pursuit of that. However, this is the first book that could be considered self-improvement that I was able to put into use immediately. I cannot recommend this book enough. If you are too nice and want to know how to assert yourself better yet still remain nice I could not recommend it better book. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the author and publishers for this amazing work.

Some Good Advice - Plain and Simple!!

It had never occurred to me - could I sometimes be too nice toward other people? I didn't think my wife would agree! She's always wanted nothing but "niceness" from me!! But reading this book by Duke Robinson convinced me that not only was I wrong but so was my wife.The author focuses on nine "mistakes" we "nice people" make in interpersonal relationships - e.g. giving advice - and he does so with candor, helpful examples, and suggestive ways toward behaviors that are both "nice" and psychologically healthy. My trying some has even convinced my wife!! Thanks, Duke, for some good advice - plain and simple. I can't say you saved our marriage - that's pretty secure - but you have helped us reduce the tensions that sometimes arise from my being "too nice for my own good."

Duke's words ring true... and now in paperback!

Here's what I wrote before when this was in hardback only:This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my "niceness" has undercut my integrity and effectiveness as a person. I'm impressed with the substance and clarity with which it's written, and especially the fact that I couldn't find any "psychobabble." I'm also impressed with the balance of theoretical understanding and practical information. It's been of tremendous help to me. I cannot recommend it too highly.I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews. The stress was on! Duke helped me to see the big picture, to focus on what I wanted and needed, and not be bogged down with needless baggage that some of us "nice" people carry with us.This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends, has refocused my attention to my communication methods so that I use clear and succinct wording, and it has helped me see that nice guys can finish first.Thanks, Duke. The book is great!And now that it's been in paperback for a while, everyone should own a copy. Get it now before you are manipulated by your own actions.

How about a 15 on a 1-10 scale?

I have an admission: I can't process Duke Robinson's book as fast as I would like. That's because it contains vast insight into how we would-be nice folk trip over ourselves. So, I'm reading it slowly and taking time for reflection. But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response. If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work. But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.

Simply Superb...top of the line...Thank you Duke Robinson!

I really only have three words for this awesome, life-healing book: OH. MY. GOD.I never realized until recently how deeply my so-called niceness was hurting me, absolutely draining me. It's as if I've gone through my entire life (until now) thinking solely of others, in order not to be rejected, abandoned, dis-vaildated. I supress my anger, and do all the other mistakes that are mentioned in the book. Needless to say, my stress levels have been over the top, trying so damn hard not to step on someone else's toes! Well, no more. I am done with apologizing for existing on this earth, and Mr. Robinson is giving me the validation and the confidence I need to move forward in the healthiest of ways! I thank you, sir, from the bottom of my heart. You have facilitated a major change in my life, and I am beyond grateful to you. I highly recomend this book, and I do not believe that 5 stars are quite enough to rate it. Read it, and change your life's approach.