The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

By bell hooks

Book Overview

From New York Times bestselling author, feminist pioneer, and cultural icon bell hooks, an evergreen treatise on how patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurts us all.

Feminist writing did not tell us about the deep inner misery of men.

Everyone needs to love and be loved--including men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways in which patriarchal culture keeps them from understanding themselves. In The Will to Change, bell hooks provides a compassionate guide for men of all ages and identities to understand how to be in touch with their feelings, and how to express versus repress the emotions that are a fundamental part of who we are.

With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. The Will to Change "creates space for men to acknowledge their traumas and heal--not only for their sake, but for the sake of everyone in their lives" (BuzzFeed).

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743456084
• ISBN13: 9780743456081
• Release Date: December 2004
• Publisher: Washington Square Press
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.47 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.3" x 8.1"

Customer Reviews

Mind altering for me, a man

My fiancee suggested this book to me. I read a chapter or two every couple of weeks to give time between each passage to reflect on the content she shared. It goes very well into the depth of the male condition and, for me personally, it opened my eyes to the flaws of patriarchy, how I have perpetuated these flaws through my actions and lack there of, and it highlighted ways to shed these toxic bahaviors and grow into a more compassionate, empathetic and loving man. I will go as far to say this is a must read for men. Be prepared to be confronted by the truth of the male condition and how it has affected, men as a whole, our self image and the way that we carry ourselves with superior regard to the world we live in and how that in itself is a major contributing factor to a lot of the turmoil we experience as men and as the human race.

Great book

This book was recommended to me by some of activist/community group members who, are mostly women or feminine presenting people. And wow it was definitely something. I haven’t read an actual book in years. This book broke that cycle and now I own multiple books lol. Bell Hooks calls the problem by its name and challenges everything we have been taught as men/boys. But this book is wonderful and every Man or masculine presenting person should read this book. Especially the Black/Brown, BIPOC ones. And that’s coming from a Black Man. Also a great book for women to as she explains how women can uphold the same values and beliefs that are taught to men and boys. Especially Black/Brown women.

So beautifully written!

This book has influenced me in so many ways. I came in blind reading this book and I don’t regret picking it up. Definitely gave me more insight on patriarchy and how we can all overall dismantle it. Would seriously recommend this to anyone and everyone.

The Most Accessible Explanation of Patriarchy, Ever

I would like to give this book five stars, because it was a "breakthrough" for me. Until I read this book, I had always struggled to understand what 'patriarchy' was other than a word some women (and occasionally, men) used when they were feeling angry or hurt. This book lays it out in relational terms, showing the essence of patriarchy as the violence employed in the family to condition and reinforce stereotypical gender behavior. I see it! This book transformed my previously general societal structural critique into something I could see in my own life and the lives of others around me. Bravo, (and thank you) Ms. Hooks. That said, here are some critical reflections: the author does lapse into leftoid jargon on more than one occasion, and she seems truly oblivious to this as a problem. She mentions, in passing, pornography as a problem--but she never defines what she means (as though it is obvious, which it isn't). My greatest surprise of all, when she was pointing out things that are both symptomatic of relational breakdown and that reinforce patriarchy, was her mention of masturbation (of all things). No explanation, just one thing among others...as if, again, this is supposed to be self-evident to the reader. Masturbation an evil? How does this relate to feminism or patriarchy? If I could talk to her, I would certainly ask her about this. All said, a very worthwhile book that clarifies and answers some important questions...while raising some others.

Relevant and Unique

I am a big bell hooks fan. I consider Feminism is for Everyone to be essential reading for the budding "women's libber" (haha gotta love a throw back). This book delivered as expected even though it did not inspire me to the extent that hooks' previously mentioned work did. I appreciated her analysis of patriarchial male culture. Hooks' choice of words gets straight to the point. She never apologizes for her opinion but at the same time her work shows an astounding amount of forgivness. Hooks' understands that nobody trapped within in the confines of a patriarchal society can be fully well. Though some benefit from this construct of oppression, ultimately nobody wins. The empathy that Hooks' expresses towards men that have hurt her in the past is prove positive that she is a member of the rare group of authors who posses the ability to put their conflicting views on paper without sounding indecisive. Hooks' dreams of a world free of oppression. Her believe that we CAN transform our toxic culture into one that nurtures all of the people that it surrounds, is uplifting. Hooks' work inspires discussion. She clearly states her opinion but remains open to dissenting views. Her critique of the Harry Potter books is not to be missed (I KNEW there was a reason that I never liked that series)! This book has something for everyone. All people would benefit from reading it.

An evolutionary revolutionary work

"The Will to Change" by bell hooks is one of the best books I have ever read. bell hooks gets to the heart of the ways in which most of us (men and women, people of all classes and races) are harmed by patriarchy, as well as exposing the ways in which we unconsciously replicate it in our personal lives. Her ideas are big enough to include all people who are struggling with division, oppression, and/or general un-wholeness and unhappiness, not just women. She suggests that the way to freedom is for us to love each other and support each other on our journies to wholeness. She clearly and consistently frames the struggle as one of hurting people yearning to be whole and free. This is a theory that is accessible to everyone - anyone who searches their heart, or just observes the society around them, can see that what she says is true. As a feminist who is married and loves men, I found her advice to be full of wisdom, with a refreshing lack of intellectual elitism. After reading this wonderful work, I am more convinced than ever that heart and soul are the primary components of our future evolutionary path. Hats off to you, ms. hooks!