The War Against Parents: What We Can Do for America's Beleaguered Moms and Dads

by Sylvia Ann Hewlett

Book Overview

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, a white feminist, and Cornel West, a black human rights activist, join in a rare partnership to address the burning social issue of our time: the abandonment of America's parents. A "brave and personal book" (New York Post), The War Against Parents calls for a Parents' bill of Rights that gives new dignity to the parental role and restores our nation's commitment to the well-being of children.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0395957974
• ISBN13: 9780395957974
• Release Date: May 1999
• Publisher: Harvest Publications
• Length: 302 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.6" x 8.7"

Customer Reviews

This is not the 1950's!!!!

For all those who would criticize mothers for working outside of the home, and for wanting schools and workplaces to be more family-friendly, try to remember that this is not the 1950's! Most mothers simply CANNOT afford to stay home with their children, and NO, it is not because us working mothers are materialistic, greedy, and value work over our children! I find it awfully convenient how the women who like to attack working mothers for not staying home with their children, and who like to say, "Well, I can afford to stay home, so they can too", are always the ones who have husbands with good jobs earning $40,000-$50,000+ a year. My husband brings home about $1,500 a month from his job after taxes, medical insurance, etc. is taken out. Tell me how a family of four can live off $1,500 a month, with having to pay for rent, utilities, food, clothes, prescriptions (my husband has diabetes, and my daughter has asthma, eczema, and allergies), etc? If I quit working, we would starve. I work full-time so my family can eat, and have a roof over our heads, NOT so we can live in a huge house, drive two new cars, or go on expensive vacations. My family and I live in a rented, 1960's era condo in a working-class suburb. We shop at discount stores such as Marc's and Wal-Mart for our food. We buy all our clothes through end of the season clearance sales. We've been on one vacation in the past 10 years. We have one vehicle, and an older one at that. We are hardly living it up while our children languish in daycare. And yes, besides just the outdated attitudes of some parents, our schools and workplaces are stuck in the 1950's as well! I can't tell you how many times I've been criticized and punished by bosses at different jobs for having to take time off from work when my children are sick, or have days off from school, etc. My daughter is in the second grade, and I calculated that between summer vacation, Easter/Christmas vacations, other holidays, teacher in service days, etc, that she only goes to school 8 months out of each year. I am constantly scrambling to find care for her during her time off, and I know that there are millions of other working parents in the same situation. This book is right on target.

Neither liberal nor conservative

This book walks a hazardous line, neither liberal nor conservative, and it infuriates some and baffles others who insist on familiar dichotomies. There's a litmus test for prospective readers, however: if you think parents should be as politically powerful as the AARP, read this book, and anything written or edited by either Hewlett or West. If you think current disparities between the top and bottom deciles in socioeconomic status in the U.S are about right, don't.

Assessment of problem is on target; solutions are absurd

The book really should have been called "The War Against Children Brought On By Parents", a title which I would be inclined to agree with. The authors detail the havoc wreaked on children by the abdication of parental responsibility, time and love. True. But the authors say it's not the fault of parents themselves, but the economy or the government which make parents "unable" (an oft-used term in this book) to give children what they need. . The authors reach the elusive realization that our society is crumbling because children need their parents' attention, in a two-parent family. The most profound and true statement in the book comes early on: "At the heart of the matter is time, huge amounts of it, freely given. Whatever the child-raising technique, a child simply does better with loving, committed, long-term attention from both mom and dad." They then come to some baffling--in light of this truth--conclusions: year-round school and government-subsidized day care, among other things. The authors conclude that parents are economically unable to care for their children. and compare our day to the 1950's when tax credits favored families with children. I have news: the main thing that has changed from the 1950's to now is that baby boomers, a group which includes me, have come to expect a standard of living that our parents would have probably thought luxurious. I am a stay-at-home mother, married to the father of our children (what a concept!) who does it by working from home, shopping garage sales and thrift stores, and bulk cooking from each week's grocery sale items. Out there are truly desperate people in desperate situations, but most people I have ever encountered who thought they "could not" stay home with their children lived in twice the house we live in, shop at the mall, drive two new cars and use credit cards. I have known a few also who simply felt more "fulfilled" working than raising their children. I would love to hear from some of you out there who made raising your children your top priority and then found a way to make it happen. E-mail me at dorriegiroux@hotmail.com. I would love to hear from the authors of this book, too. I still recommend this book, as it is highly insightful and scholarly and does offer many useful recommendations, such as making divorce harder to come by and promoting adoption. However, I think its authors overlooked society's greatest problems: materialism and consumerism.

No wonder 1950s families fared better than today's families

I am a mother and a church librarian and bought this book from that point of view. I have seen Cornel West on C-SPAN on a number of occasions and always found him to be wise and thought-provoking. I was very pleased with this book. It was especially astonishing on two points. The first is the authors' exposition of family life in the 1950's which was government supported with larger tax credits for children and educational programs such as the GI Bill. Today families have no such overwhelming governmental support. Most foreign countries have full governmental support for child care. Why not America? Do we pride ourselves on independence so much, when our families are in dire peril? The government is so blind. The second point that really struck me was the survey at the back of the book. The religious right and its cabal in Congress tell us that the things of most concern to families today are abortion, homosexuality and prayer in schools. The authors' survey found very different worries at the heart of actual families in this country--the need for government sponsored child care, flex time and job-sharing, nurseries on site at job locations, tax credits, etc. Parents are talking basic practicality, not ideas espoused by a fundamentalist "Christian" front. (BTW, Christianity is never exclusive.) I also found valuable the explanation of the Promise Keepers and the Nation of Islam, especially in terms of my own religious beliefs. Just yesterday there was a column in the paper on the lack of corporate on-site breast-feeding areas for new mothers and babies, followed in today's paper by an article on Muslim fundamentalist mistreatment and murder of women and mothers in Afghanistan. Parents and families the WORLD OVER are in grave peril. I wish the authors would have in place some grass roots organization so parents could sign up to become activists in getting legislation passed. Heaven forbid that we should ask seniors or singles to pay for families. Howver, seniors are the first to gripe when there is crime, vandalism, family failure through divorce, teen moms. These things are a direct result of our nonsupport of our nation's families. The National PTA just doesn't seem to be making much headway, although schools, already pushed to the limit, are taking a part--locally two schools have after school programs to avoid the problem of latch-key kids, and child care available at high school so that young teen moms can graduate. At the same time, however, teachers are no longer allowed to ask for modest lab fees for classes. As a former art teacher, I can tell you that it is hard to give schoolchildren quality art experiences when you have only donations of wall paper books and carpet scraps! The result is that parents who can, dig in DEEP to give donations to teachers whose curricula are hard up. Already this year my husband and I have given over $1000 out of pocket to support our schools an

impassioned treatment of mistreatment of American family

I particularly like the focus of the authors on the proliferation of "experts" intruding into the integrity and privacy of the family. CPS are blasted for being often mistaken, negligent, and malicious in their intrusions into family life. Parents have been disempowered by their decisions, and are literally afraid to make a move with their children, lest they be accused of abuse by the "experts" The hysteria about child abuse has spawned an industry which continues to grow without any checks accountability or oversight. The taxpayer merely can foot the bill and the media have sat back while without doing any real investigations of increasingly tryannous behavior on the part of CPS.