The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

by Suzette Haden Elgin

Book Overview

Don't turn the other cheek and fume quietly; know what to say when someone throws out the snide backhanded "compliment," subtle insult, cruel criticism, or outright verbal blow. Inside these pages is... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0880290307
• Release Date: January 1985
• Publisher: Dorset Pr
• Length: 310 Pages
• Weight: 0.97 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.0" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Out dated

This book had a few good points. But, mostly it was out dated and dragged on. Most of it could have been said in a few short chapters. I wouldn't recommend this book

Good book to use on well intentioned family and friends

Everyone has that mom/dad who tells you that they only want the best for you and that is why you should do things just like they tell you to. Everyone has the friend who tells you that you are pretty but could lose some more weight. Everyone has that sibling who tells you how to spend your money and what friends to choose. This book is for them. You want to stand up to them without losing their friendship or hurting their feelings.

For those who need help in this area, this one is a Winner!

There are certain members of my family whom I always wanted to avoid. I was not wrong, they are difficult to get along with, but that never made me feel better about myself.It was an eye-opener to discover that with some few little pointers I could learn to get through a telephone conversation or even a dinner without feeling put-down and without getting successfully baited into a disagreement. And I have had to learn to not expect to feel only two inches tall with some of them!The best part of her technique is learning to handle the attack without attacking back. Not having to resort to being mean, and not having to participate in any arguments at all. It was so simple that I almost feel stupid for not having been able to figure it out on my own. Now I'm only kind of mad that there are people against whom I might need to defend myself, but it sure helps to know how to do it.The other great part is that I learned that I also indulged in a little verbal attacking, as well, though, because I had learned it in my family, I did not recognize it as such. After the initial horror at myself I am pleased that I no longer need to do that.This book may not be needed by everyone, but if you can't understand why you always feel put down or angry around certain people this book will almost definitely help.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

This remains the very best book ever written on the subject. I own several copies... all out on loan at the moment! Dr. Elgin explains how to handle verbal attacks (some of which you may not have recognized as attacks although they started an argument and/or made you feel rotten) in ways that put a stop to hostile language with no loss of face on either side. Looking for one-upmanship tips and snappy comebacks? You won't find them here. What you WILL find are eary to understand, step by step instructions that will stop verbal abuse and leave room for real (necessary, useful) communication.I think the first three books (The Gentle Art..., More on..., and The Last Word on...) are the cream of the crop, but any of her books on the subject will give you good information that you can put to use at once.

What they SHOULD teach in grade school but don't!

I don't understand why this book is out-of-print. The information included in it is valuable and unavailable anywhere else. This book should be required reading for all sixth and seventh graders and schools should teach it. If they did, maybe our society would have more emotionally healthy teenagers than we do. And in the south, no parents who love their daughters should dream of letting them have contact with other young girls before they are given a thorough grounding in this book's contents. I'm serious! I found a battered old second-hand copy of this book not long ago and I am already beginning to enjoy the benefits. I popped one southern belle shark with some of this and she backed off! Nothing is more valuable than emotional well-being.

Best book on the subject that I've read!

Wonderful! Ms. Elgin treats the subject on verbal self-defense with great care to be neither too technical, nor too simplistic. It is well written and thoroughly engaging. This book introduces the reader first to idea of the verbal attack, then subsequently to the steps and cues required to UNDERSTAND the attack. Once an understanding of what the attacks themselves presuppose has been achieved, then a defense may be mounted.The subject, I believe, is treated fairly, ethically, morally and promotes diffusing a confrontation without unneeded verbal bloodshed!