The Broken American Male: And How to Fix Him

By Shmuley Boteach

Book Overview

Why do American husbands come home from work too exhausted to interact with their families? When did a healthy quest for prosperity become a twisted game no one can win? How did BlackBerries and internet porn become more interesting to men than their flesh-and-blood spouses?Shmuley Boteach has made a great study of how families live today--both in his work as a rabbi privately and as host of TLC's "Shalom in the Home." He's discovered a disturbing common thread in the families he meets: men responding to the pressure of competition in their work lives by turning away from their loved ones. In a world that judges men by the size of their paychecks and the wattage of their fame, it's all too easy to lose sight of what is truly valuable in life. Men who consider themselves failures and don't love themselves turn into stressed-out dads, distracted husbands and miserable human beings. For these men, alcohol, the internet and sporting events serve as numbing stand-ins for read life. In THE BROKEN AMERICAN MALE, Boteach doesn't just outline the problems facing marriages and nuclear families. He also offers practical, inspiring solutions, showing how wives can reach out to their husbands, helping them become heroes again to their own families.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0312379242
• ISBN13: 9780312379247
• Release Date: January 2008
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press
• Length: 294 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.4" x 9.2"

Customer Reviews

Much needed advice for the modern American male

The only male role models many American men have these days are people on TV. Imagine if we all lived like most of the greedy philanderers we see on TV! What kind of a culture would this be? What would happen to the American family? If you have kids, I doubt that's the kind of society you would want them to grow up in or the people you want them to become! A lot of men feel like failures because they don't have a new girlfriend, car, boat, house, etc. every so often. Men like me who are committed to their family aren't living the "cool" life as seen in the movies and on TV (though the celebrities aren't either, and that's why so many of them are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol). And so sometimes a man asks himself, why do I make this sacrifice? I'm getting old, my hair is falling out, my belly is getting bigger (not that we can't help that), and I'm barely caught up on my bills! It takes a book like this to make a man realize he's acting like a wimp. I personally understand the pressure in our society. TVs are everywhere! They tell you that you don't have enough and are not good enough. Bimbo male celebrities have become the role models! Our nation's leaders aren't doing a very good job of being role models and neither are many religious leaders. Many of them are getting in trouble for having affairs and stealing money. We have TVs now in the break room at my work, in the gym, and I get to see tons of advertisements on billboards on my drive to and from work. It's hard to just shut the media off and start living once again. But if you want to be a good father, husband, and not spend the rest of your life in vain pursuits and depression, it's something you'll have to do. Read this book and pass on the advice to your children. And yes, Rabbi Shmuley is religious and his ideas are old school in many ways. Yes, he does believe the feminine is greater than the masculine. If those things offend you, this book won't help you much. Rabbi Shmuley's tone may seem a bit harsh in this book, but it's written for men. His assumption is that male readers probably won't break down and cry because he's being so mean. This book is good for both Jew and non-Jew alike. Though I felt it should have been shorter, I liked it enough to give it 5 stars.

Shmuley does it again!

He really hits the nail on the head, once more! A great read for any adult wanting to learn more about themselves and others!

The Broken American Male

Rabbi Boteach has written an excellent book. It is very thought provoking. Every man and women should read this book in order to understand what is going wrong today in this world. Once there is understanding, then you can move forward and correct the problem.

Excellent book!

I saw Shmuley on 700 club and was instantly anxious to own the book. My husband is reading it as well as myself, it is worth the read for both wife and husband. We must keep an open mind and always be willing to learn to grow and move forward in our lives. Excellent!!

Great topic, decent execution

After catching a few episodes of his TV show, I felt like Boteach "got it" in the way that Dr. Drew and occasionally Dr. Phil got it. He has the ability to cut to the core of the issue, understand when people are acting unhealthily and are unafraid to point fingers. The book confirmed my initial impression. Boteach is definitely onto something about male culture. His analogy of women and eating disorders and then men and workaholicism is apt. They are both a result of a tendency to apply internal identity to external factors. A woman feels she is as worthy as her beauty and a man as special as his wealth. No question, modern culture perverts many natural urges to unhealthy access--and we often examine how that effects women but rarely do the same for men. His book finally does this. If there is any criticism to be leveled at this it is the mass of generalizations, feel-good assertions, and unsupported idealism. Look, men's behavior is not totally a result of culture. The traits he derides in the book existed long before man had developed to ability to speak, let alone build office buildings. To think that it could all go away with a few parenting changes is ridiculous. And as always, religion (namely the bible) is a poor place to found any theory. Being that he is a Rabbi, he rests heavily on scripture and the notion of "G-d." In this instance, I think he could have made an equally persuasive case without it. He didn't and the book suffers. I would recommend a few ev psych books to balance Boteach's words with some science such as Sperm Wars, The Evolution of Desire or even The Moral Animal. Regardless, if you're a young person, you should read this before you go the way of your parents generation. And if you're older, maybe it's not too late to turn it around.