The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women

By Sue Shellenbarger

Book Overview

In the tradition of The Second Shift , a groundbreaking work that identifies and explains the phenomenon poised to redefine our culture When Sue Shellenbarger wrote about her midlife crises in her award-winning Wall Street Journal Work & Family column, the volume and emotional intensity of the responses from her readers was stunning. As she heard story after story of middle-aged women radically changing course in search of greater fulfillment, a trend began to emerge: an entire generation of women was experiencing the tumultuous transition of midlife in ways not seen before. To capture this paradigm shift, Shellenbarger combines original research data and interviews with more than fifty women who've navigated their own midlife crisis. Long stereotyped as the province of men, today the midlife crisis is reported with greater frequency by women than men. Emboldened by the financial independence to act upon midlife desires, exhausted by decades of playing supermom and repressing the feminine sides of themselves to succeed at work, women are shedding the age roles of the past in favor of new pursuits in adventure, sports, sex, romance, education, and spirituality. And in the process they are rewriting all the rules. Beyond defining a new phenomenon, The Breaking Point shows how various options women use to cope with the turmoil of midlife-from playing it safe to dynamiting their lives-have a profound impact on their families, careers, and our culture at large. Provocative, insightful, and resonant, The Breaking Point is sure to be one of the most controversial and talked-about publications of 2005.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0805077111
• ISBN13: 9780805077117
• Release Date: April 2005
• Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.20 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.6" x 1.1" x 6.4"

Customer Reviews

All the stories together....

...add up to more than any one book can offer. I've been reading this book, along with several others that, together, help give us the "big picture" of what it means to be a woman in midlife. Our mothers didn't have these stories to share--or didn't believe that they had permission to speak the stories aloud. These books break the silence that so often accompanies stories of aging in our "growing younger" culture. Also recommended: KISS TOMORROW HELLO: NOTES FROM THE MIDLIFE UNDERGROUND BY 25 WOMEN OVER 40.

Extremely worthwhile reading!

This is a must read book for any woman approaching mid-life or well into it! Very insightful reading and most women will be able to relate to the information provided. The examples given of other women's experiences through this time of many changes are most helpful. I would very highly recommend this book.

Could be much more...

As a career consultant who works with midlife professionals, and a fan of Sue Shellenbarger, I was eager to read The Breaking Point. And mostly I was not disappointed. I like the way Shellenbarger treats midlife crisis respectfully, rather than comparing midlife to a "second adolescence." She begins by exploring her own motivation and then sets out to understand the research in the field. I am familiar with the work of Professor Elaine Wethington, who is quoted to set the stage for a research perspective. However, I wish the author had reviewed other research and other respected authors, such as Jean Shinoda Bolen's work on goddesses of midlife. Additionally, I was impressed that the author has interviewed fifty women. And, like many reporters, she makes her points by narrative rather than summing up. On the other hand, I felt the book's organization could have been tighter. Shellenbarger identifies six archetypes: lover, adventurer, leader, gardener, artist and seeker. The book spends about 30 pages on the lover archetype, which Shellenbarger describes as potentially dangerous, and 15 pages each on the other archetypes. Was the lover predominant in her own study? Or did she (and the editors) believe this archetype would draw the greatest interest from readers? It would have been interesting to get at least two or three stories for each archetype. The Gardener, for instance, is represented only by "Melanie." Following a series of career mistakes and miscarriages, the author writes, "For most of her adult life, Melanie...regarded herself as a 'happpy, active sensible person with a couople of good friends, a good marriage and a loveable son.'" (p 154) Yet the archeype of Gardener suggests someone who has roamed the world and now is ready to come home. Why not give some examples here? Shellenbarger wisely classifies her book as journalism, with no pretense of advice or self-help exercises. Even so, it is important to recognize that the fifty interviewees will be far from representative. They've offered to share their stories, which means they had time to do so, and they apparently believed their stories presented a positive image. They may have experienced some setbacks but they've triumphed. Ultimately, an indirect lesson of this book is that midlife crisis belongs to the rich and educated. One woman begins twice-weekly sessions with a psychiatrist. All I could think was, "She must have had one great health plan -- or lots of money." These options are not open to most women 40-60. Many find themselves facing a more down-to-earth crisis as they lose jobs -- or their husbands lose jobs. Bottom Line: Some women will be comforted or inspired as they recognize their own archetype. But the larger question relates to the way our culture and infrastructure still cling to old stereotypes. We may be getting stronger, more vibrant and more alive...but what do we do with these qualities?

Powerful and positive

I'm a 41-year-old woman who has already gone through a midlife crisis. Ten years ago there were no books like Shellenbarger's to "help" me with my process. Instead all we had were examples of men's midlife crisis, including the purchasing of red convertible sports cars and divorcing their wives for some hot, young thing. Shellenbarger sheds light on not only the reasons behind women's midlife crisis but also the ways "we" handle this time in our lives. I'm fascinated by the six different archetypes, or the passions women are drawn to as a result of their crisis, including the lover, adventurer, leader, artist, internal gardener, seeker and artist, that Shellenbarger found in her research. Although a word of caution here, the research is more like sitting around a table and talking with a group of friends than taking a poll of a 1000 women about this phenomenon. But that's what makes the book interesting and readable, you'll perhaps recognize yourself or your friends or family members in these women's stories.

I recognize some of these people!

For years Sue Shellenbarger has written a "Work and Family" column for the Wall Street Journal, one of the first to focus on the practical consequences of juggling careers and home. She's not a psychologist or sociologist, and doesn't pretend this is a scientific study. Rather, she tells the stories of women who reach the mid-point of their lives and find that somehow it doesn't work anymore. It's much more than menopause, the empty nest syndrome or a mid-life crisis. The author lays out six "archetypes"--representing six types of change women seek--the leader, the lover, the adventurer, etc. It made sense to me--I know far too many women who reach mid-life and abandon successful careers and start new ones, travel--with or without spouse, begin new ventures or new businesses. When I was 40, I attended my husband's 35th college reunion--he and his classmates were in their mid-50's. I listened in on a women's breakfast meeting, and heard thrilling stories one after the other from women who were soaring, having finally completed child-rearing and the struggles to establish careers. What was going on I wondered?--being only 40, they'd seemed old to me. Now I understand!