Birth of a Self in Adulthood

By Dorothea S. McArthur

Book Overview

Directed to the literate lay person as well as to the professional therapist, this book about psychotherapy is devoid of technical jargon and contains relevant clinical examples.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0876689098
• ISBN13: 9780876689097
• Release Date: January 1988
• Publisher: Jason Aronson Inc
• Length: 246 Pages
• Weight: 1.26 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.3" x 0.8" x 6.3"

Customer Reviews

Not the least bit dated...

Since this book was published in '88, I wondered about how accurate it would be; a lot of research and finer distinctions have been made in the field. But this author, Dr. McArthur, caught a lot of 80s research and analysis about "impinged-upon" adults. She deliniated the (unhealthy) 12 maternal commands and then their corresponding (healthy)permissions. Same for fathers. She does a great job of reading conflict behind patient's words. A lot of research is referenced in this book. She references Peck's "People of the Lie" and Brown's, "I Only Want What's Best for You," to understand the patient's parents. In other words, the idea that a child could not understand or deal with parent's insanity of scapegoating behaviors, criticism, concern with public image and intellectual deviousness not as a sign of weakness of the individual (even when they grew up); an adult would have difficulty dealing with these behaviors and a child has considerably less options and less maturity. She references a number of concepts including; pseudomutuality, the rubber fence, marital skew, and parataxic distortion. This was a pretty fast read - she wrote it for the layman - and it was comprehensive and not the least bit dated. Quite a few little insights from her discussion of what she has noticed in her practice. Nice little surprise of a book.

Life saver!!

I have read numerous books about dysfunctional narcissistic family dynamics, and Birth of Self in Adulthood is by far the most helpful, positive one I have read. The author clearly outlines a number of unconscious "commands" that mothers and fathers pass onto their children that cause these children, who are now adults, to be incomplete within themselves and to become enmeshed and dependent upon the parental family to the detriment of the adult child. The author helpfully outlines these commands and the resulting feelings and behaviors and then rewrites the commands to show the reader what an emotionally healthy alternative is and how to progress into independence and a opportunity for a more fufilled life. For anyone struggling to feel separate and distinct from their parents but cannot understand why, this book is a must!!!

Well, it explained my childhood!

This book explained to me so many of my self limiting beliefs and showed me exactly where they came from. She then helpfully suggests healthier beliefs to replace the old ones. Amazing how parents can seriously mess up a child and make it look like love.