Sweet Suffering: Woman As Victim

By Natalie Shainess

Book Overview

"Why are so many women their own worst enemies? The answer is in this book- a book that could literally save lives. It belongs in the hands of every woman (and her name is legion) who feels she is... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 067154635X
• ISBN13: 9780671546359
• Release Date: January 1985
• Publisher: Pocket Books
• Length: 263 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.

Customer Reviews

The second half is amazing! Every woman should read this book!!!

I cannot recommend this book enough!!! It made a HUGE impact on me!!! I am so grateful for this amazing tool to help women survive and thrive in this less than pro women world! This book was insightful and helpful in understanding domestic abuse and why certain things happen. It had a little too much victim blaming at the beginning of the book. Stick with it and you will see what she is getting at. She talks about how characteristics and early life experiences make women more likely to be abused. She did have some good suggestions to help someone escape from abuse. The psychology behind why people act the way they do was fascinating and helpful to me. The later part of the book was very intriguing. I started out not particularly liking this book but loved it by the end. I am really glad I read this book! This book would help any woman who is abused or has a hard time standing up for herself. I absolutely love this book!! I wish every therapist, police officer, judge, lawyer and anyone else who is in a profession that could possibly help a woman escape the abuse she has been entrapped in would read this book.

Clear-cut Diagnosis and Advice

The author is an expert on self-defeating personality disorder, and makes a good case for bundling varied symptoms such as fear, anxiety, self-absorbtion, low self-esteem, and depression under this diagnosis. She devotes each chapter to a different aspect of this disorder (its linguistic expression, its causation, its appearance in literature and film, its effect on interpersonal and work relationships). She explains why SDPD is an elective, maladaptive behavior, and how having chosen it, one can reject it. A couple of the chapters, such as the one on self-defense and the one on the psychology of the victimizer, seemed to stray a little far afield, but overall it was a tautly presented argument. The chapters on the linguistic defenses and interpersonal relations of an SDPD sufferer were particularly fascinating. Throughout the book, Dr. Shainess offers concrete examples and advice. Unlike many self-help authors, she is not glib and offers no panacea. The book is well researched with a lengthy bibliography and does not talk down to the reader. The author is realistic about the seriousness and pervasiveness of the problem, and the necessity of long hard work if it is to be overcome. Despite its prevalence in women, the author has also treated male SDPD patients, and several of her examples draw on these experiences. I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with issues of self-esteem and assertiveness.

ADULT WOMEN: DON'T FAIL TO READ THIS BOOK.

NATALIE SHAINESS IS A PROMINENT PSYCHIATRIST IN MANHATTAN.SHE HAS WRITTEN THIS ASTOUNDING BOOK BASED ON HER REMARKABLEKNOWLEDGE OF WOMEN, SELF-ESTEEM, AND HOW TO BREAK PATTERNS OF MASOCHISTIC REACTIONS. I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK HIGHLY. IT IS A LIFE CHANGING BOOK, WELL WRITTEN, EASILY UNDERSTOOD, AND QUITE CHALLENGING TO ANY PERSON INTERESTED IN SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS.READ IT IN THE 1990S, AND AM READING IT AGAIN. TREMENDOUS BOOK.

ATTENTION WOMEN FROM 20 YRS TO 80 YRS. OUTSTANDING BOOK!

READ THIS BOOK IN THE 1990S. A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE WRITTEN BY A HIGHLY RESPECTED MANHATTAN PSYCHIATRIST WHO IS ALSO A GREAT WRITER. RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TOTALLY FOR ALL FEMALES WHO HAVE BEEN SOCIALIZED OR CONDITIONED TO GO ALONG TO GET ALONG. THIS BOOK IS OUTSTANDING. DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS ONE. I AM A CRISIS INTERVENTION WORKER AND HAVE RECOMMENDED THIS BOOK TO MANY.THOUGH THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR WOMEN ONLY, IT MOST DEFINITELY SEEMS THAT WOMEN BENEFIT ENORMOUSLY FROM THIS BOOK.DO HOPE YOU GIVE IT A READ. YOU MAY WANT TO TELL YOUR DEAREST FRIENDS AFTER YOU READ IT. IT'S SO ENLIGHTENING AND SO EMPOWERING. GOOD LUCK!

Helpful and Hurting: A More Current View of Masochism

This is a well-written, informative, supportive must-have for those who have suffered in the role of "People Pleaser." Prior to this piece, everyone thought masochists were sex-starved self-mutilators whose only focus was physical gratification. No more! Shainess creates a haven for those who just want to be loved, appreciated, and nurtured. After all, they've always tried to attain this by being "everything" to others.

A powerful guide out of victimhood

As a professional counselor I have recommended this book to many of my clients since it first appeared. They have consistently told me that Sweet Suffering has clearly and effectively described the patterns of communication and interaction with others that set us up to become unwitting victims in relationships. Also included is a powerful section called "Digging Out" which gives the tools needed to overcome these self-sabotaging habits. I wish this book would be reprinted.It's truly a classic! In my personal top ten!!!