Relationship Pain: Why We Get Hurt, and What to Do about It

By Ralph Schillace

Book Overview

Dr.Schillace's book is special among works on personal change and psychology that are written for the general public. Most books in this genre are written with a "one size fits all" approach to... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 059514909X
• ISBN13: 9780595149094
• Release Date: November 2000
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Length: 444 Pages
• Weight: 1.52 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.1" x 9.2"

Customer Reviews

A book to replace your relationship first aid box

This book takes us to places that we felt only we knew existed and thankfully helps us find our way back again better for having gone there. It has been said that clinicians are born not made read this book and you will know why.

Remarkable insights

"Relationship Pain" is an enjoyable book about romantic, family and workplace relationships, illustrated with case histories from the author's twenty-five years as a psychotherapist. It helps you understand the difference between "constructive" and "destructive" relationship pain, why early romantic and family relationships are so formative in our lives, why some relationship experiences create indelible relationship memories and how to put it all together to nurture relationship health and even joy. It is the meaty book after the light weights.

Superb Relationship Insight and Enhancement

This book was really illuminating about my relationships at work and my relationship with my wife. Dr. Schillace really helped me to clarify my own needs and expectations of my coworkers and my wife. I discovered that my unconscious expectations often create problems in my relationships. Just following the book's guidance for changing these expectations has helped me make my relationships much more satisfying. The book is worth it just for the self-awareness that you get from the Relationship Theory Checklist. This book is called Relationship Pain. But really it's about how to find more closeness and gratification in relationships. I highly recommend it.

Too important to miss!

How much do you really understand about your "relationship life"? Trying to get along in intimate, family and work relationships is not easy. Through Dr. Schillace's easy to understand guidebook, we are introduced to the Byte family's long-term and chronic pain in a stalled marriage, Frank's relationship pain from the workplace, and to Rose and her obsession for pets. Seeing a little of ourselves in these painful situations, the readers profit from Dr. Schillace's diversified clinical experience. This book explains clearly how we are permanently changed by experiences and teaches us to research our own history to unlock behavior patterns. As Dr. Schillace states, "we accumulate a history of life-changing events which become a core influence in our development".In the chapters on loss and trauma, Dr. Schillace clearly explains and how we are affected by loss and trauma for the rest of our lives. He helps us perceive more about others and ourselves as we learn that "events not totally digested remain in our experience as a separate unresolved toxin".Relationship Pain is a long overdue and easily understood roadmap to negotiate life's relationship experiences. This book is too important to miss!

Why the fish is the last to see the water.

We swim in a sea of relationships but seldom know what we are doing or why. Wouldn't it help to be aware of relatioship skills and influences so that we could reduce the chance of being hurt and of hurting others. This is one of Dr. Schillace's main premises in "Relationship Pain". He validates emotional injuries in relationships, explaining them as losses and traumas, and helps us learn why these events occur in our lives. This book is solidly grounded in classic psychological concepts and the author's 25 years of clinical experience with adults and couples. This is a life-saving work for the serious layperson and counseling professional alike. It is continuing to be a helpful supplement to my personal counseling and has helped me with family and workplace relationships as well as in my adult relationship life.