Reconcilable Differences

by Neil S. Jacobson, Brian D. Doss, Andrew Christensen

Book Overview

Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who just doesn't get it will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behaviour that...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1572305096
• ISBN13: 9781572305090
• Release Date: May 2002
• Publisher: Guilford Publications
• Length: 332 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.3" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

An Excellent Couple Resource

I found this book to be an insightful and interesting read. Their many examples of couple issues from real couples resonated with me. Their descriptions of the perspectives of each member of the couple was especially insightful because their descriptions/discussions usually nailed it with respect to how I myself have felt in similar situations (and explained the feelings better and more powerfully than I am usually able to do) and also really helped me see and understand the perspective of the other person. It definitely provides a good mindset for solving problems instead of placing blame.

working with couples

The most useful book of its kind for working with couples in conflict, practical clear and well thought out. I use it chapter by chapter as its so great as an educational tool. Not for those looking for a band aid job,its "the" book to have.

Looking for hope in your marriage? Buy this book!

This book adds evidence to my belief that psychologists who stick close to science and away from fad theories can contribute tremendously to our world. These two authors have done their homework and have come up with a compelling theory on healing marital discord. Why do I think so? If a theory is true, it should describe a wide variety of data, in this case, marriages. It describes the difficulties in my marriage to a tee, and if it doesn't describe almost all marriages, I'll eat my hat. The method for change is the other great part of the book. To me, it basically says couples spend too much time believing they see the world correctly and set out to correct the wrong part (their spouses). We have enough trouble trying to accept change to fix our own faults, what makes us think we can change our spouses? What makes us think we see our marriage accurately? We should learn to see the world as it really is and work with that. This book is invaluable help to anyone looking for help for their marriage.

Reconcilable Differences

This book should be on the shelf of all married couples homes. After experimenting with some of the suggestions offered, I noticed a surprising change in behavior for both myself and my hubbie. One may learn to think in new ways about how to handle disputes of many kinds after reading this book (even if only one partner agrees to read it).

Defusing arguments, accepting differences.

Why couples have the same fights, and how differences can be reconciled. This teaches how to defuse arguments, accept differences, and learn acceptance and change on both sides. Chapters give plenty of case history examples on the process of learning new strategies for getting along.