No Reptiles Before Lunch

By Geoffrey Moehl II

Billy Vance's life was simple: catch gators, crush funnel cakes, and help Uncle Cletus keep the trailer lot running. Then a bootleg arcade cabinet zapped him straight into Class 2-D of a Tokyo high school.

Now he's got thirty days to find a way home before the portal closes for good. Thanks to a glitched translation filter, his Florida slang comes out like dramatic kabuki theater, his lucky yellow clogs are suddenly "legendary gear," and his fourteen-inch alligator, Mr. Snappy, has been turned into an adorable chibi mascot the entire school is obsessed with.

To survive the countdown, Billy teams up with a hyper-strict student council president, a giant baker with scarred hands, and a warlock who bought his eyepatch at a convenience store.

A cozy, hilarious GameLit portal fantasy packed with viral chibi alligators, interdimensional pastry drops, and zero reptiles before lunch.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H468L8PT
• ISBN13: 9798180078513
• Release Date: June 2026
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 278 Pages
• Weight: 0.83 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.6" x 6.0"