Love Demure No More: Who's Tender Now?
Once, Love had many images. Romance and passion ruled images of "Love as it Ought to Be". Women shy and artificially reticent in expressing themselves were part of a culture that contrasted them with desirability of Manly men, with valour and chivalry, and who opened doors (if not laid down their coats and cape for ladies to step over puddles, like Sir Walter Raleigh). Rules like, "One must not directly express love the first time", and "never shake hands with ladies unless they offer their hand first" went with How to Recognize a Good Woman. Women too open, who "dared" to stare back at men (as if appraising them or their "appropriateness") were "not good". Men should broach topics that lead to talk that naturally led to an invitation (not "to have coffee and accompany them to their houses", as in films) for a "date." A "date" simply meant the first step, nothing more. People went on "Blind Dates" before, too, where they hadn't seen a person with whom they would have a meal, nor knew much about them. Now, women (and men) are led into traps by criminals by Blind Dates through social media. People on "Blind Dates" in previous decades depended on recommendations by "good friends", not acquaintances or less-known persons. "Blind dates" were certainly not suggested by strangers, or "strangers who seem friendly on social media" nor used "dating sites". But the Uncertainty of Love was too much for those who depended on Valentine's Day. However much a person knew "what she loves, and gave her an appropriate gift", while being the best way to Know Who Really Knows You, and cares for your thoughts, was most unreliable. Since a "Valentine" should never write his name on the gift or card. So, if a teenager or young adult understood the girl, and was a prospective Good Life Partner, yet she did not recognize his writing and who sent the gift, it was the Most Frustrating Thing, an exercise in futility, with dashed hopes for True Lovers. While the wily ones won the heart of the girl. Such adventures and "miss-adventures" and the Images of Love conveyed by poems echo in memories. And need One Last Effort.
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