Love Between Equals: How Peer Marriage Really Works

by Pepper Schwartz

Book Overview

"...any couple contemplating marriage or reevaluating an existing one will find powerful information and encouragement here for a true marriage of minds." -- Kirkus Reviews "Pepper Schwartz is... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0028740610
• Release Date: September 1995
• Publisher: Touchstone
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.7" x 6.0"

Customer Reviews

very challenging

This book is one of my favorite ones. It's written in an accessible tone and has some ideas that challenged my, what I thought were, progressive views of marital relationships. I particularly found the examples of near peer relationships and the father as provider discussion enlightening. Although the other reviewer thought the book contained too much class bias, my personal experiences with this type of arrangement are from working class folks who elected to take jobs on different shifts so they could both work full time and share child-rearing responsibilities and a couple who chose to rough it out financially for a few years so the mom could get a degree in dental hygiene to increase the family money instead of focusing on the father as the provider. While the couples have had tough times working out their work/family situation, I am glad we have books like this that give us hope of creating a better family unit through principles and practices of equality instead of relying on the easier, more gender-stereotyped, traditional way of doing things.

Pepper Schwartz is amazing

Not only is she a relationship expert but she knows how to write a captivating book and give you unique insight into your relationship, your partner and yourself. Having had the opportunity to meet her in person, I was thrilled to read her books and even more thrilled to take her new online personality quizes at www.perfectmatch.comThey give you insight into your personality and the personality of your potential mate or who you should be looking for. Of course her partnership with PerfectMatch is, to coin the phrase, a PerfectMatch. You go on the site, take the tests and can even search for others who have taken the tests. You are almost guaranteed a PerfectMatch.

i couldn't put it down

The questions of power and equality must not be thrown out of the window in the name of marriage. I have thought this for many years. Reading "Love Between Equals" helped me discover that I am not alone. While stressing that it takes work to maintain a peer (sexual) relationship, Dr. Schwartz paints a picture of the lasting satisfaction that results when a couple actively rejects the dominant-submissive model.

The real issues involved in loving and living with an equal

I think "LOVE BETWEEN EQUALS" can give any two people who really desire to have a true sense of equality in their marriage or partnership - a GAUGE by which they can isolate the important issues in relationship and a way to measure how they are doing with these issues. If they take the various issues presented and discuss them fully and fairly, they will know what is working about equality in their relationship and which areas need work. It is not for those with namb-pamby relationship (just foolin around stuff) or those where one person dominates and wants to continue dominating - the risk of becoming equal may be too threatening.It is not a how-to book. It does not have to be. It doesn't tell you how to achieve equality. What it does teach you to do, as I said before, is to think about what equality really looks like and how to check your relationship out. If you want to do something about it, you will probably need other help. But this book will give you a handle on what it is you need to do and it should be thoroughly digested and discussed, before deciding what your next steps are on the way to having that sense of equality. I would be glad to discuss what I wrote with anyone.WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY BE DANGEROUS TO LOUSY RELATIONSHIPS!

EQUAL PARTNERSHIPS HOW-TO BOOK

This is an amazing, eye-opening book. Many couples say they believe in equality, but they also feel that the woman is naturally better at staying home with the kids, and that it just makes sense to put more emphasis on the man's career because he often makes more money. Pepper Schwartz shows how these seemingly sensible decisions undermine a relationship of true equality. She also discusses the benefits of a truly equal relationship: the deep friendship and trust that is possible only when the two people are on equal footing. Through interviews with egalitarian, traditional, and nearly egalitarian couples, Schwartz provides real-life examples of how people can and have transformed their relationships into truly equal partnerships, with both the woman and man sharing childcare and decision-making. This book would make a great wedding gift!