Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults

by Susan Daniels

Gifted children and adults are often misunderstood. Their excitement is viewed as excessive, their high energy as hyperactivity, their persistence as nagging, their imagination as not paying attention, their passion as being disruptive, their strong emotions and sensitivity as immaturity, and their creativity and self-directedness as oppositional. This book describes these overexcitabilities, as well as strategies for dealing with children and adults...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0910707898
• ISBN13: 9780910707893
• Release Date: October 2009
• Publisher: Gifted Unlimited
• Length: 320 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 6.0" x 8.9"

Customer Reviews

The most transformational book I've ever read

I'm 49 years old. Since elementary school I've known, accepted and embraced the fact that I'm exceptionally gifted. I derive immense satisfaction from applying my intellect and have done so without the burden of concern for how that affects other people's perception of me. However, what I never realized until reading this book is how instrumental being gifted is to my emotional makeup. When this book arrived I started reading it and highlighting the sections with which I strongly identified. Four hours later when I finished the book and my highlighter was running dry, my perspective on my life and relationships had been permanently altered. For the first time I felt like I knew who I was and who I could become. There are two paradoxical passages in the book that particularly struck home in describing my intense inner turmoil and emotions. "...some gifted children protect themselves and try to hide their extreme sensitivity so that they give the mistaken impression of being unemotional, impassive or indifferent, and unresponsive to social cues." (p. 13) "Many, too, are desperate to experience communion--a deeply resonant and reciprocal connection with another--...and they are so hungry for it." (p. 65) In addition to giving me a new perspective on who I am, there is extremely valuable information on the requirements giftedness imposes for an effective therapeutic relationship. It's not possible to convey in a review the depth of the profound impact this book has had. All I can say is that if you're considering buying this book then you need it.

Living With Intensity is a must read for adults who have been spurned because of it .

I am 59 years old and reading this book was so very refreshing. I have been told all my life, " why do you think so much, stop thinking so much", " why do you take things to heart so much, stop it' and so forth and so on and in reality we are gifted,not bad, as we were told as we grew up. I have and will always be a good citizen, I am a retired elem teacher, but FINALLY, after hearing my mother and others say over and over what I have mentioned above, it is refreshing to get some pats on the back !!!!!!!! It is our giftedness that has caused us so much pain and misunderstandings that lead to the criticisms I mentioned above. We are just very curious and want to know and love life with a HUGE passion that most don't understand. I am so very very glad to have found this book and I have already recommended it to 2 people, one a former student who is now 21 and has struggled with the same rude comments I have heard all my life, and they sound continually like put downs, when we are the shining lights. !!! we are just often mis-understood by others. If you have a wee one like this, please read this book and know how to not stifle them.

This book helped me understand my daughter better (and myself as well)

I happened upon the definition of a "gifted" child from this book on a website: "Their excitement is viewed as excessive, their high energy as hyperactivity, their persistence as nagging, their questioning as undermining authority, their imagination as not paying attention, their passion as being disruptive, their strong emotions and sensitivity as immaturity, their creativity and self-directedness as oppositional. They stand out from the norm. But then again, what is normal?" It is the best description of my daughter I have ever read. This book is a must have if that above statement describes your child - or even yourself! It discusses the excitabilities phychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational and emotional.

Sensitivity is an Asset!

This book is a lifesaver for the gifted population...it presents a clear and concise overview of their inner and outer worlds, how they think and process, how they can and cannot express themselves, what is needed in their environments in order for them to thrive and offer up their unique and needed contributions to the world...I couldn't put it down because of the affirming recognition I felt in this book...the book offers enormous breakthroughs for anyone in this category who may have been living in the shadows of constant criticisms or living on the fringe for their "differentness". For those of you who are "sensitive" and who've been told all your life you are too this, too that, and that you need to chill out, pipe down, take a break, stop thinking so much, stop talking so much, stop reading so much into everything, stop taking everything to heart, stop laughing so loud, and more...this book will help you see that you are not alone and that you are not abnormal, defective, crazy, or that something is wrong with you. You only have one life...it is so important for the gifteds and the sensitives to beam their unique perspectives out into the universe, to make their unique contributions...it is the only way for you to live your best life and the only way for humanity to move forward. There is immense power in the novel idea and in the novel perspective. Cultivate the courage to be who you are even in the face of being misunderstood. The world needs you and that is why you are here! This book will help you to cross over the painful barriers that have made you feel like you must pretend to be less than you are!

Helpful insights into the workings of a special mind.

I learned a lot reading this book and it proved helpful in understanding myself without the often biased looks from others. Readers need to be prepared to challenge their beliefs about things like "being too sensitive" - it's not a liability, it's an asset and should indeed be seen this way. This book provides helpful advice on how to handle / cope with difficult situations that only arise because you are special but is still easy to read and understandably written.