Let's Just Be Friends: Recovering from a Broken Relationship

By H. Norman Wright

Book Overview

One of the greatest delights in life is being loved by another person. But on the flip side, one of life\u2019s greatest disappointments is caring deeply for someone who neither loves you nor wants to be part of your life. As veteran counselor Norm Wright knows, many, many singles have experienced the pain of having a serious relationship splinter, and their dreams as well. It is a loss, he says, like no other. When a relationship ends, for whatever reason, people find themselves asking What\u2019s next? How can heartbroken readers best deal with failed romance? In Let\u2019s Just Be Friends Norm Wright walks readers through the steps to healing, acceptance, recovery, and growth. Inside this book they\u2019ll find: \u2022Warning signs and reasons to end a relationship \u2022How to respond to and accept a breakup\u2022Restoring self-confidence \u2022Rediscovering me as opposed to us \u2022Getting ready for a new relationship For anyone who has ever heard these fateful words: I think it would be better if we stopped seeing each other, or Let\u2019s just be friends, here is validation, understanding, and most vitally, a game plan for a bright future.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 080075803X
• ISBN13: 9780800758035
• Release Date: January 2002
• Publisher: Fleming H Revell Co
• Length: 190 Pages
• Weight: 0.66 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.5" x 5.5"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Versatile, Works for Married People too....

When I ordered this book, I missed that it was directed at singles. I just knew I had read this author before and he makes a LOT of sense. In spite of the fact that I am not single, I decided that I would read it anyway. You never know if there will be a tidbit here and there that might be useful.I just finished reading it and was amazed at how a lot of the content can also be applied to married people. My husband of 29 years said these very words to me just two days ago, so it was very timely. H. Norman Wright approaches his books from a Christian viewpoint, but he doesn't try to cram "religion" down your throat. Reading several of his books recently has been an eye-opener for me and I am appreciating the author's insight into human nature and good, "do-able", sound suggestions. This book responds to all of the various facets and the phases of "grief" when a relationship comes to an end in a clear, concise, easy-to-read manner. It will be remaining in my library close at hand, and I am in the process of adding several others by this author. It is an excellent guide to help us "rejectees" survive the loss or abandonment of loved ones in our lives and even help us see some hope on the horizon that we are not only NOT worthless, but VALUABLE and worthwhile, and that there IS hope of loving again--perhaps even someone who will appreciate what we have to offer this time....sometimes it is faulty reasoning on the "rejector's" part and we are better off out of the demeaning relationship. After reading this and other pertinent books by this author, I am looking towards a new, healthier view of life than I have had in a long time. It doesn't profess to "get over a relationship in a week" or anything; the author admits it is an ongoing process with stumbling,pitfalls, and relapses. It also offers encouragement and reasons for the occasional back-slides, and that they are okay. This book basically asks us to consider new responses, thought processes,different, more positive ways to communicate and even gives us "red flags" to aid us in (hopefully) avoiding making the same mistakes once again when one we have healed some and are ready to go out and trust someone new with our hearts...I REALLY enjoyed this book. It would be VERY beneficial for the demographic it was aimed at, but I feel it is an excellent reference to those of us in other relationships as well.

A deeper look at break-ups

I bought this book after a break-up and it is pretty helpful. It takes a deeper look at break-ups, talks about some of the reasons why you put it off or how the right way to break up is. Then it discusses analyzing your relationship to really figure out the good and bad of your ex, acknowledging and getting over the painful memories, and working through all your feelings and thoughts. From a psychological perspective, it really helps you confront your anger toward the person and change your negative thinking patterns. The last section deals with moving on and being "successfully single." The book was not as helpful as some others I've read (I highly recommend "It's Called a Break-up Because it's over"), but it does go deeper into the psychological which is helpful for particularly painful break-ups.

What to do when you've gotten "The Goodbye Look."

Getting dumped sucks, especially when you're an older single with a limited pool of marital candidates to choose from. As a late thirtysomething, I've accumulated my share of break-ups and relational baggage, including a recent jilting by a woman I hoped would be marriable. In my quest for succor I ran across "Let's Just Be Friends," and it helped me deal with both the parting and the difficult aftermath. I was upset and depressed after things went bust, and the "Getting Over the Loss of a Relationship" section was especially comforting. Mr. Wright's "Impact Phase" nailed my state of mind, such as how I mentally replayed relational events and gamed what I could've done differently. I didn't feel like such a loser after discovering that my internal and external reactions were par for the course. For example, the constant intrusion of negative thoughts and powerful emotions was so hard to handle that I left the community group we were part of and changed to a different church service. Despite our Type-A group leader's admonition that I "grow up and get over it," I needed time away to process and heal. Therefore, I was grateful for the author's affirmation along those lines. Mr. Wright discusses a six-stage "Work of Grieving" as a path towards post-breakup wholeness. Cognitive methods of healing include writing "release statements" and having imaginary conversations with your ex. This is part of forgiveness - a critical process because it frees one from mental and emotional bondage and enables moving on. In addition, his counsel to avoid denying or medicating my pain in favor of experiencing it as part of grieving was tough but necessary. Of course, seeking God through prayer and community is advocated, since dark times like these are tailor-made for going deeper with Christ. Yes, I still have some regrets and sadness about the situation. But the hurt and anger are fading, and I feel better equipped to handle awkward moments like running into my ex at church or seeing her with another guy. The last couple of chapters focus on being successfully single and choosing when to dive back into the dating pool. At this point, I'm OK with either option. But part of that process is acknowledging my own relational sins and working to ensure their correction. That may be the toughest part of healing, since it means evaluating myself in the uncomfortable light of her reasons for bailing, as well as getting past the harsh speech of my former group leader to see the underlying truths. I tend to learn more from a kick in the pants than a pat on the head, which must be part of why God allows this stuff to occur. So despite the pain, I'm ultimately glad I had the experience, especially if it helps me mature enough to be the right man for the right woman (and avoid the wrong ones as well). At any rate, after three months of grieving and work (special kudos to my old/new community group for their help), I've come to a healthier place. I con