It Takes a Parent: How the Culture of Pushover Parenting Is Hurting Our Kids--and What to Do About It

By Betsy Hart

Book Overview

A nationally syndicated columnist and conservative commentator examines the harmful effects of today's "parenting culture." Tyrannized by "experts." Obsessed with perfection. Harried and anxious to the point of misery. Columnist and commentator Betsy Hart sees these traits in what she calls today's "parenting culture"-that is, a nation of parents who refrain from making moral judgments, who put their kids on a pedestal whether they deserve it or not, who shy away from disciplining or even criticizing when kids misbehave, and who generally cede the responsibility for making decisions, large and small, to their children. Hart argues that the consequences of this hands-off approach can be seen on the faces of dependent, wayward, and even violent children and teens-not to mention miserable moms and dads. A mother of four, Hart presents a smart, passionate, and provocative argument for the crucial-and currently unfashionable-role of parents who lead rather than follow. From parents who insist on giving their kids a choice about everything and make excuses for their bad behavior, to those who drive their kids to excel at any endeavor and who turn to trained professionals for every problem, It Takes a Parentquestions some tightly held cultural assumptions, and sheds light on the everyday concerns of parents across the nation. This insightful, commonsense book will help shift the focus back to the role and responsibilities of parents-for guiding the character and hearts of their children, so they will grow up to be responsible adults themselves.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0399153039
• ISBN13: 9780399153037
• Release Date: August 2005
• Publisher: Putnam Adult
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.99 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.3" x 1.1" x 6.2"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Grade 12 and higher

Customer Reviews

Very realistic advice!

I buy this as a gift all the time for new parents

It's about time

At long last a non-psychobabble, commonsense approach to raising kids right. Hart's book is profound, sorely needed, and right on. She argues that idolizing children and focusing solely on their self-esteem is not healthy. Clearly they need nurturing, but not to the exclusion of limits, ground rules, and a solid understanding of right and wrong. Parents need to be authority figures. They also, she argues, need to stop obsessing about perfect kids and realize that mistakes can become learning opportunities that help children grow into healthy, well centered adults. And, of course, she argues against falling for the latest 60-seconding parenting tip of the day. Her work helps shift the focus back to parent's proper roles and responsibilities in guiding the character of their children. I taught in a public school part-time for eight years and currently teach martial arts to kids (and adults). I have seen the behavioral problems she refers to over and over again and have seen first hand how her approach really does work. And I use a similar approach with my own kids. This book is well written, compelling, and sorely needed. It's about time someone promulgated this approach. Highly recommended!

Interesting discussion on Culture

As a 40 year old single man without children, the subject of raising kids does not, in itself interest me. However, for years I have admired Ms. Hart ability to use and express common sense in getting to the crux of problems. And most of all, she simply a fun writer to read. Therefore, I picked up the book the day it came out, and despite having to get back to work the next day, I spent the same evening reading it. What I appreciated most of all in this book, is her outstanding ability in using and explaining studies. So much of today's conventional wisdom in rasing children is based on horribly flawed studies and poor/biased use of data (As an Auditor/CPA this is something I often deal with) Her chapter in spanking is a minor masterpiece of explaining the almost unbelievably biased interpretation of studies done on raising children. However the whole book in itself will make you a bit more aware on how the media puts it own spin on just about anything. And yes, the book is also plain fun.

Finally a book that gives parents permission to be a parent

It's ok to tell our children "no." It's ok to turn off the TV, to take away the Game Boy, to deny the ice cream cone. Come on parents! Step up to the plate and take some responsibility for your children! We have become a nation of children raising themselves. It's time to embrace the responsibility of being a parent. You owe it to your children and you owe it to our collective future.This book will help you on your way.

COMMON SENSE AND LOVE PREVAIL!

IT TAKES A PARENT finally challenges the parenting "experts" who treat childrearing like an academic practice set - the best of whose research and advice has created the situation today - kids disciplined by medication and ovrewhelmed by choices without parental leadership! Hart's book takes a close look at all the main experts, helps parents question them, and gives parents back the role of leader and guide in their children's lives! This book made it all come together for me, and I recommend it to every parent who cares about their kid!