Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex: A Memoir

By Jennifer Lehr

Book Overview

Jennifer Lehr has finally, at age twenty-eight, fallen in love. His name is John. His hair is too long. He's broke. And his house smells like cat piss. He's also funny, talented, and ambitious-and he... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060741570
• ISBN13: 9780060741570
• Release Date: August 2004
• Publisher: William Morrow
• Length: 352 Pages
• Weight: 1.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.1" x 1.2" x 7.4"

Customer Reviews

History of a volatile relationship in stunning, courageous detail

Nothing is held back in this revealing account of a woman's frustration with her husband's sexual apathy before and after marriage. With no identities concealed, Jennifer lays out in all its embarassing detail the story of her many years with John, during which the imbalance in sexual appetite left her chronically unfulfilled. Beyond the naked details of their sex life or lack thereof, the book also exposes all the young couple's hangups and anxieties about money, including sharply different attitudes and acute resentments around spending, saving, earning, and taking handouts from family, and how this all got processed in their individual and couples therapy. This is casebook-worthy material in its microscopic examination of the lovers' endless anguish over sex, money, family, career, love, marriage and much else in their day-to-day living. Jennifer has a distinctive writing style that may be a little snarky and off-putting in its over-use of multi-hyphenated sentences, but it is more than offset by her wit, self-revelations and exhaustive memory for family history. The book's authenticity is enhanced by the many candid snapshots of Jennifer and her early boyfriends and lovers. As befits a woman who has made a career of publishing custom-designed commemorative volumes for well-healed clients, this book has an exceptionally eye-pleasing format, typography, and lay-out. A further note: I learned much from Jennifer's analysis and application of the influential 'imago theory' of psychologist Harville Hendricks -- showing how unhealed psychic wounds can become the foundation of a healthy committed relationship when the couple come to understand how they are re-enacting with each other the unfinished business of their childhood skirmishes with parents. In sum, you will find Jennifer gutsy, creative, audacious, and enormously talented -- and her riveting story of searching for love cannot fail to help anyone seeking to improve an intimate or family relationship.

Courageous and Honest Book

I'm so impressed with the courage and honesty of Jennifer and John Lehr to share their story- it's great to see and read about the not-so-Hollywood moments of relationships.

Honest, raw, truthful, and blunt...

Being a fan of non-fiction, I scoured through the bookstore trying to find something I had not yet read AND something that was not related to anything involving politics or war. To my surprise, the cover of Jennifer Lehr's book stood out to me, so much so that I had to pick it up and check it out. I am so thankful that I did. Not only does Jennifer's sense of humor parallel to many women in our society today, but she takes on the issues that most women, even in today's society, fear tackling. In a normal contrived setting, like that of Dr. Phil or Oprah, many women are comfortable yet hesitant to discuss sex and love in ANY negative sense. With the rise of shows like 'Sex and the City,' women are urged to discuss their sex and love lives, but never in a sense of neglect. Jennifer tackled this whole-heartedly, bluntly, and without regret. After all, her book is not telling women how to get a man, how to keep a man, or how to be attractive for a man. She speaks as an independent woman who knows what she wants in life and is not afraid to get it without compromising who she really is. I would recommend this to anyone, male or female, who enjoy an honest gripping read, one without false pretense or pretty wrapping paper of a 'perfect' life. In a world of reality TV shoved down your throat, it's refreshing to not only read a REAL real story, but to have it be so 'out there' and 'in your face' that you find it endearing and realize that sometimes skeletons do not belong in closets. Your secrets, fears, wonders, and dramas need to be exposed sometimes; that's when you find yourself. I truly think Jennifer did that with this book. You won't be bored and you'll find yourself spending an insane amount of time reading this in one sitting. Be prepared to laugh, to cry, and to say, "Oh my God, I've felt like that too!" The naked truth is always far better than fiction and Jennifer shows her soul. Who couldn't admire that?

The Courage To Tell the Truth

I absolutely loved it. Couldn't put it down! I tried to find excuses for reading it when I was supposed to be working. I exercised longer on my stationary bike just to have time to read it. Loved, loved, loved it. Throughout I kept thinking, "Thank God there's a woman who's honestly talking about the female sexual experience and the mind games we women play on ourselves during the whole confusing process of dealing with men and their body parts. Thank God it's not just me. And that was a great emotional relief. Lehr has the divine courage to tell the truth - which has the power to free people who read it..who now, like me, don't feel so alone. That is the greatest gift you can give to anyone! Amazing!

What brutal honesty! What courage! What a gift.

Through a mere coincidence, I happened upon this book with a very seductive cover jacket. I picked it up and didn't put it down. Never have I read a journal into someone's world, their soul, written without judgments. Along with this blooming insight that makes one question all their relationships ... from sexual to that most intimate. Mrs. Lehr, thank you! You've increased my understanding of patience in the trying times and bumpy rocks of our love's path.