If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

by Cynthia Heimel

Book Overview

Cynthia Heimel has been described by the Chicago Tribune as perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes; her wisdom on dating includes such gems as: My new rule is to never... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060974788
• ISBN13: 9780060974787
• Release Date: January 1992
• Publisher: Harper Perennial
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 0.40 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.6" x 5.3" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

A slightly uneven book of feminist humor

Heimel is brilliant. I do love her work. Her essay on "Clothes and PMS", included in this book, stands as one of the funniest things I have ever read ("I am a symphony of reds!" she sings, before she is saved from herself). Her slightly embittered, I-don't-even-want-to-know approach to life rings true.The only place the book sags is when it tries to be too serious. Heimel should stick to comedy. Some people just can't be trusted with biting social commentary. About a third of the book seems to fall within this category. I skipped most of that. But the rest is pure genius, with insight and wit.

The Greatest Title Ever

Cynthia Heimel's "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" is a collection of her columns from the Village Voice, Playboy, and Cosmo. The book is half painful wisdom, half male-oriented feminist anger, and half fall-on-the-floor-laugh-out-loud comedy. If you think that doesn't add up right, you haven't taken into account that anger can be funny, and sometimes even wise. The columns date from the 1980's and are totally New York oriented, so if you don't think the Big Apple is the center of the universe you may find yourself annoyed, and the discussion of drug use will profoundly disturb some. But Heimel's not out to offend--she's just an urban divorced mother trying to live a worthwhile life. She's caught in the crossfire of mindless masculinity and rabid feminism, looking for a safe place for a love life, a job, and a family. Her most moving columns are about her son, and "Childhood is Powerful" should be required reading for prospective parents. In it, she talks about guilt, and how honesty with your child is more important than parental authority; and how limits must not be placed on your child in order to create that authority. "As much as love, empathy cures all evils." And "For Rent: Empty Nest" is a tear-and-smile inducing bit of writing that will resonate with every mother. "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" isn't a perfect book, but it's bite-sized slices of life are well worth the price of admission, especially if your date is paying!

Funny, but now a bit outdated

I read this book just recently and laughed at many of the sections. It's very funny for the young and modern woman. Beats down some stereotypes, which is always good.

Great Breakup Book

This hilarious book hides some hard hitting truths about our relationships, insecurities, doubts & regrets, and helped me get through a nasty breakup without going back. Every time I felt tempted to call him, I'd read a chapter & be laughing too hard at seeing the ridiculous nature of my relationships boldly outlined with laugh-at-myself-and-heal humor. After a breakup is when I feel the most depressed, taking life way too seriously! This book had me laughing the whole way, or smirking, chuckling, snorting, almost-peed-myself, non-stop, nodding-my-head, giggling. Whenever I'd get upset about a man, I'd read a few pages & it was like seeing the guy naked to the core--and myself too (because we're not so innocent either)! I now have the whole set of books this author has written, the humor is timeless & there will always be breakups or jerks who make my hair stand on end, and this book helps release the pressure of taking life too darn seriously.

Go ahead and laugh, but it's all true!

Someone bought me a copy of "If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?" for a gift. The title immediately made me smile, so I read it. The contents didn't disappoint. Heimel writes about women, PMS, and even compares differing reactions to porno movies depending on the sex of the viewer. (No pun intended.) The book is hysterical - I've read the list of things men want out loud to many people, but while the subjects are written humorously, they aren't exactly untrue.... So laugh if you like (I know I did), but according to my own independant poll, men really do want a lady in the living room and a sex-starved tiger in the bedroom!