I Can't Believe I Just Did That: How (Seemingly) Small Embarrassments Can Wreak Havoc in Your Life-And What You Can Do to Put a Stop to Them

by David Allyn

Book Overview

Social scientist David Allyn examines the subtly damaging effects of shame and embarrassment on our everyday lives-and offers powerful advice for identifying and managing them. For many of us, when it... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1585422576
• ISBN13: 9781585422579
• Release Date: December 2003
• Publisher: Tarcher
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 1.10 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.4" x 9.3"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Insightful, Practical, Excellent Value

David Allyn captures the universal concern for what other people think of us and the deep desire to hide away, embarassed and horrified, when we think we've screwed up. After reading this book, I felt much less alone in my feelings of shame and embarassment and more empathetic toward others. I recommend this book very highly. It's not a psychological treatise -thank goodness. It's easy to read, even funny in places. It's for people who want some practical ways to think about and deal with life's daily horrors that we bring upon ourselves. If you've ever made a mistake that you are still thinking about (and who hasn't?), read this book and breathe a lot freer.

Insight into Image Control

"I Can't Believe I Just Did That" offers practical advice about how our efforts at image control (withdrawal, deception, and intimidation) erect barriers in our relationships. Allyn's writing style is very empathetic and you really get the feeling that he understands and cares about readers who suffer from embarrassment and shame. His suggestions regarding romantic relationships (both single and married) are especially helpful. He offers real-life examples and scenes from television shows such as "Friends" and "Sex and the City" to help make his ideas more accessible. Allyn estimates that 80-90 percent of all romantic relationships end because of a shame spiral brought on by image-control strategies. It's certainly important for all of us to understand something that's so problematic. In its efforts to be politically correct, the book broadens its scope to include every kind of person in every kind of situation. The author even encourages criminals to celebrate their courage regardless of their bad choices. Despite this little quirk, "I Can't Believe I Just Did That" is well worth reading if you want a new perspective on self-defeating thoughts and actions. Leslie Halpern, author of Reel Romance: The Lovers' Guide to the 100 Best Date Movies and Dreams on Film: The Cinematic Struggle Between Art and Science.

This book shook the foundation of my heart.

Wow!! A profoundly insightful, powerful, and completely unique take on the subject of "self-confidence" and "embarassment." I highly recommend it... regardless of your level of self confidence, or lack thereof. And, if you have kids... definitely...get this book! Don't wait. Not only did it teach me how to step outside of my own self-punishing shell of shame, guilt, and self-pity, but I also learned how to be a better (and much more sensitive) parent. The wisdom in this book has helped unleash a powerful new understanding of my children, and a renewed sense of warmth, pride, and acceptance of them in all their faults and glory. Truly a priceless gift to me and my family. Thank you a thousand times Mr. Allyn.