How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less

By Neil Clark Warren

Book Overview

He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love-or to a... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0785269045
• ISBN13: 9780785269045
• Release Date: September 1999
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Length: 208 Pages
• Weight: 0.47 lbs.

Customer Reviews

Definitely helpful! Had some great points

In 75 to 80 percent of all marriages that eventually end in divorce or separation, at least one of the partners suffers from an emotional health deficiency. Usually, this problem has haunted them for years, long before they got married. And if it doesn't get fixed, their marriage won't get well! I'm so convinced of this that I tell people that no marriage can ever be healthier than the emotional health of the least healthy partner. Individuals have to get healthy for marriages to improve. You might say, "Yeah, but isn't everyone a little emotionally unhealthy?" My answer is a resounding, "NO!" Granted, there is an enormous amount of pain in our society, and broken families are the source of much of it. What's more, many people are confused about themselves and the direction of their lives. In fact, I can go even further and say that many persons are so wounded emotionally that they need to do a lot of work before they even think of getting married. Pg. 112 In my opinion, emotional health begins with a well-constructed self-concept. This means knowing yourself well, being well defined, and feeling good about yourself. Any person who suffers from a self-concept that has been poorly developed over time will usually show signs of an emotional health deficiency, which may be something as mild as low self-esteem expressed in the form of unnatural shyness and quietness, or something as overpowering as an explosive anger problem. I watch communication patterns for signs of a well-developed or poorly developed self-concept. For instance, when I talk with someone who is healthy, our conversation has a natural flow to it. We take turns talking and lis-tening, and there is a good pace to our dialogue. The conversation progresses smoothly because we both listen carefully to each other's points, and we respond to them. We each stay on the subject and respect what the other is saying. Pg.113 It’s about both you and your partner getting a great deal. To do that you must be closely matched. Pg. 148 It is crucial, that you select a marriage partner who makes you feel great about yourself. Pg. 157 The truth is always friendlier than anything less than the truth pg. 166 You're such a good guy, and I hope you know how many great qualities you have. But I am looking for a certain person who matches up well with my own unique interests and personality traits. I simply think we don't match well enough to continue dating-despite the strengths we both have. I certainly hope you can understand, because I like you very much, and I wish nothing but the best for you." If you set your mind on telling the truth only if it won't hurt the other person, you will never tell it. What we must compare, obviously, is the pain it will cause if you tell it now versus the pain it will cause if you simply wait until "a better time." If your news is negative, it cannot be told painlessly. But it's almost certain to evoke more pain if you wait until later to tell it. Pg. 170 If I'm unsure of what the truth is for me, I wait to say anything. Partial truth revealed often keeps full truth from being discovered. Partial truth tends to raise anxiety for one or both persons, and the full truth thus becomes more elusive. But once I know the truth, I deal with it promptly. Why? Because I have found that every person, at their deepest and most central place, wants to hear this truth. And really, they have every right to hear and know it. WHEN YOU TELL THE TRUTH, THE RESULTS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS SURPRISINGLY POSITIVE What a powerful belief this is! When it is applied to the communication of a negative decision about a relationship, it tends to give us the courage we need to verbalize and act upon our decision. Sometimes it takes a while for truth to win out. I have known scores of individuals who relentlessly told the truth in a dating relationship and almost without exception, both parties came to appreciate the fact that truth prevailed. Not immediately but almost always even

Most Helpful Self-help Ever!

Thanks to NC Warren, for the first time in my 42 years (through one marriage and three love relationships since then) I know how to go about selecting a compatible mate rather than just randomly going with whoever seems attractive. Knowing yourself well and listing the 10 "must haves" and "can't stands" are major keys.

Don't get married without reading this eye opener!

This is one of the best written books I have ever read. It is precise, to the point and shows many examples. Using his experience in practice and studies on marriage, Dr. Clark shows the reader not only how to find the perfect mate, but also how to find and know yourself. The book really opens your eyes so that you are not stuck in a dead-end relationship. I strongly recommend it.

A Must for ANY Single Person

66% of all marriages in the US end in divorce or separation. Half of those occur in the first 2 years! Research shows that if people followed the advice in this book, the divorce rate would be increadibly lower. If you want to have a happy marraige, then read this WHILE you're single. It will change your life.

A Gotta Read if Serious About Finding the Right Mate

Wow! This is a great book. I just read this book after breaking up with a lady I had dated for a year and a half. The dating process took us through several ups and downs and ended six weeks before we were to have been married. This book would have brought clarity to our relationship early on and probably would have saved much heartache. Interestingly, the book would have helped me truly know what a wonderful lady I was engaged to and made me appreciate her more -- possibly saving the relationship. I especially liked the thoughtful method Warren used to "force" the reader to really get to know him/herself and to identify the characteristics desired and not desired in a potential mate.

thank you

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you for the book "How to KNow if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less." A friend purchased this for me, and it is amazing how my eyes opened up. God works in mysterious ways sometimes, and this time it was through your book. Thanks for your helpful insight!