How Do I Express These Feelings?

By Elizabeth John

This book is filled with poetry that expresses how I feel on a variety of issues from homosexual love and cheating, to despair and gratitude in this cruel yet beautiful world.

Each poem tackles a different issue and will make you see things from a different perspective. You will be transported to a world filled with love and hate, beauty and monstrousness. Here is one of my favourite poems where I talk to my future self and imagine what I would like to be like.

You are a rare gem.
Sure, you are pretty, but you are not that pretty.
You are not blonde.
Your body does not have an hourglass shape.
Your eyes aren't blue like the skies.
But when I look at your soul all I see is the beauty of the hidden world.
When I look into your soul, I see the garden of Eden.
I see beautiful flowers with contrasting colours and sizes.
I see waterfalls and forests.
I see the ocean waves rising and falling to the pace of your heartbeat just so that maybe, maybe they could feel like they are a part of you.
Failing to match your pace the waves of the oceans slow down to take a rest.
They rise as soon as they can and try again to match your beat
they try for years and years and each time they fail but still, they try
for maybe someday they can reach your level of liveliness and calmness combined.
Maybe someday the world can catch up to you
maybe someday you will teach them how.
Or were you born this way?
I doubt perfection could be natural.
In fact, I doubt it exists.
But then I look at you and I am reminded that it does.
My fists clench,
I am envious.
No,
I am jealous.
Jealous of you
jealous of how you carry yourself
jealous of how you love yourself
jealous of how colourful you are
jealous of how you laugh deep from your heart.
I am jealous of your perfection.
My love for you and my jealousy always battle
you see, they are both ferocious.
But one of them must win
there cannot be two winners standing.
Alas that day is not today
neither was that day yesterday
or will that day be tomorrow
for my jealousy and love have been fighting for decades
they both stand firmly,
unshaken by the other's punches.
They stand there, in silence and accept the other's existence
they now live in coexistence.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B09Y4CTWNN
• ISBN13: 9798804726462
• Release Date: April 2022
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 42 Pages
• Weight: 0.15 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.1" x 6.0" x 9.0"