Hold Me Close, Let Me Go: A Mother, a Daughter and an Adolescence Survived

By Adair Lara

Book Overview

What does a mother do when her teenaged daughter is spinning out of control and nothing is bringing her back? Here is a searingly honest memoir of motherhood and a testament to the power of love and family. When Adair Lara's daughter Morgan turned thirteen, she was transformed, seemingly overnight, from a sweet, loving child into an angry, secretive teenager who would neither listen nor be disciplined. The author, her youngest son, Patrick, her ex-husband, Jim, and her new husband, Bill, all stepped on a five-year roller-coaster ride in which Morgan incarnated the chaos principle in torn jeans and dyed hair. Drinking, drugging, disappearing, suspicious companions, failing and cheating at school, joy riding in a stolen car-there was no variety of adolescent acting out that she didn't indulge in. For Adair Lara it became an endless sojourn at the end of her rope, a trial immensely complicated by the reappearance in her life of her aging father, a man who had abandoned his wife and seven children decades earlier. Inevitably, Morgan's misbehavior revives memories of her own headstrong adolescence, while her father's presence makes agonizingly real for her the consequences of giving up. Paradoxically, he also becomes the source of her best advice. Hold Me Close, Let Me Go is an emotionally charged, often brutally honest memoir that all parents (and anyone who was ever a teenager) will experience shocks of recognition from while reading. It imparts invaluable lessons about holding loved ones close through the roughest passages and about the power of family to overcome the most grievous obstacles. Adair Lara is a clear-eyed and eloquent witness to the complex costs and rewards of motherhood, and her book will redefine for readers their idea of what being "a good enough mother" really means.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0767905083
• ISBN13: 9780767905084
• Release Date: March 2002
• Publisher: Crown Publishing Group (NY)
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 0.50 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.5" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

I am so sad that I ended this book this morning

I absolutely loved this book. I bought it a few days ago and haven't been able to put it down. I loved Adair Lara's honesty. I felt that she and Morgan had become my friends. I have two teenage sons and this book touched me. I loved Morgan's spirit and felt Adair's love and fear for her. I love the final message that through it all, the consistent love that Morgan felt from her mom pulled her through. Basically we all make mistakes but if we keep on trying, our kids will feel our love for them. I am so sad that I am through with this book, I miss Morgan and Adair.

this was one you could learn from

I don't think I have ever read a memoir that read more like a novel. I kept checking the cover to make sure. It's honest and very stirring, especially if you have ever raised a child to reach these years. I hated to see it end but I known the mom was grateful for some closure. This is well worth your time. I laughed and nodded my head many times. Sometimes in simple amazement and sometimes in agreement.

Tell Lara I Love Her....

Hold Me Close, Let Me Go by Adair Lara is a wonderful, terrible, funny, devastating book that took me by surprise and held me in thrall from the first page. I didn't mean to read it. As a 63 year old childless gay man, I had little investment in a book (regretfully) being marketed as a mother-daughter self-help manual. But since I read only nonfiction, when browsing I'll pick up books on any subject, just to see how well the author writes, and so it was with Lara's book. Also, I was struck by the photo on the cover. Anyway I picked it up, began to read, then found I had to buy it. Gay, straight, childless, parent, this book is a staggering read for anyone who loves stories and admires those who can get out of the way and tell them true, even when artful lies are used. Though teenage/family dysfunction is at the center of Hold Me Close, Lara writes of universal experience--one of family, friends, and wrestling demons to the ground to find grace. Suddenly, I am in love with Adair Lara, though my partner of 26 years is not threatened. Read this book. You will be better for it.

Honesty and Compassion in the Face of Adversity

Adair Lara brings a refreshingly honest voice to the frustrations of raising a teenager. She wonders how she went wrong while at the same time struggling to do whatever the "right" thing is that will turn her daughter's behavior around. Lara is a witty observer of her own circumstances, even the most dire.

Wonderful read!

I loved this book. I felt as if the author and I were close friends. Lara tells the truth--the funny, sad, scarey, touching truth--about what she went through raising a teenager. It's a gem!