He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know

by Jessica Valenti

Book Overview

Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time? Isn't it unfair that working moms are labeled "bad" for focusing on their careers...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1580052452
• ISBN13: 9781580052450
• Release Date: May 2008
• Publisher: Seal Press (CA)
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.25 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.7" x 5.4" x 6.9"

Customer Reviews

Questions and answers provide some relief.

I was so excited when I saw this book and started to look through it. Finally a book that covers many issues the modern American woman is faced with everyday. It is written in an open conversational style and I got through it in less than a day...very compelling. The only downside (minor) is a lot of the solutions are centered around awareness and advocation which is how I have been handling my life as a woman so far...for me it is exhausting to take on societal problems daily and I was hoping for a magic wand to make it all disappear. Completely unrealistic of me but regardless I am glad I read this as it validates many gender inequities that I sometimes feel only I was effected by. Buy it and read it...you will feel awakened.

A hilarious initroduction

And people say feminists don't have a sense of humor! In this quick read, Jessica Valenti manages to bring up 50 arguments that any girl or woman has, and any boy or man should have, considered. From the funny (wondering why only women are required to shave armpits and legs) to the painfully serious (like societal double-standards being used to tolerate or condone violence against women), every point is more than valid. This is a great book for people who already identify as feminists (it's a nice break from dense theory!) or wouldn't touch "the F word" with a ten foot pole, since it's not so much a radical agenda pusher as a "Hey dudes, what's up with THAT?" eye-opener. Hopefully this book will show people who rarely think about gender issues how much further we still need to go toward equality, and get non-politicized people more involved in what they read, think, say and how they act.

Tough to hear but an incredibly necessary book

Sexists will cringe at this clear, powerful book of not-all-together obvious double standards. While women and men are biologically different, they should never be subjected to different standards of treatment. Commentators who raise the issue of the sexes' physiological differences idiotically miss the whole point: differences should not lead to double standards and worse treatment. An excellent book. Women: please don't stop complaining about discrimination.

REALLY good stuff!

I'm not being sarcastic at all--I'm a male reader, and I found this book to be REALLY insightful stuff. I also found double-standard #51: that these are double standards that WOMEN should know. Shouldn't men know these too? I mean, I'm trying to raise my two sons with better insights than the blueprint for sexist privilege they are being handed to them every darned DAY, and I want them to see past it. So right there in the title--BAM!--another unintended double-standard. This stuff's just as integral for men to consider. Jessica Valenti's writing style is snappy, fun to read, and yet very good at disturbing the reader with insights that are dead-on but easily overlooked in our culture. I've followed the feministing website (which Jessica Valenti contributes to) for some time now, and I am constantly fascinated by the sheer amount of research and information that they find. I'm also disheartened by how often her work is dismissed as "thought police" or "hysteria"--but then, that's exactly what she's getting at in this book: male privilege allows (us) men to mouth off on TV, talk radio, and pretty much every other form of media about OUR interests, but women who do the same are labeled "guy bashing" or worse, simply for acting like actually free people. Books like this one are powerful documentaries about that dynamic, which is taken for granted to the point that those who call it out are usually personally scolded for it. All the more reason why Valenti's contribution is integral. Oh, this is really interesting, to Jessica personally: you know that part where you mentioned seeing your childhood tormentor, Eleena, talking about her own issues on TV? As amazing as this is, I know EXACTLY who you are talking about. I wonder, do you see her on-screen confessional as a sign of hope, or head-smacking "Jeez, how can she not even get this?"

For every woman who's been called a slut. For every man who's been called a sissy.

If you enjoy feministing.com, and/or if you liked Jessica Valenti's last book, Full-Frontal Feminism, you'll definitely love this book. Valenti uses humor and demonstrates how ridiculous some double standards are. She connects the personal and political to illustrate how insidious, everyday stereotypes are damaging and dehumanizing. It's a difficult thing to raise consciousness about gender inequality in a way that inspires activism instead of depression. And even with Valenti's attitude and humor, readers will probably find themselves infuriated or disgusted while reading about some of the injustice described. The suggestions about how to change double standards are a little vague in some places, but there's enough there to get you started brainstorming - hopefully with a group of like-minded feminist friends.