He Said, She Said: A Father-Daughter Perspective

By Ken Kaye

Based on Ken & Jasmyn Kaye's experiences from Jasmyn's early childhood to present day, He Said, She Said: A Father-Daughter Perspective offers a unique view of this sometimes difficult relationship. Since Kaye's daughter exhibited the qualities of an out-of-control teen, it took perseverance and patience to learn how to understand her perspective. He Said, She Said offers a distinctive format by recounting events-from childhood to adolescence-from both the father and daughter's point of view. These differing viewpoints effectively tell both sides of the story and give you an inside look at just how drastically different parents and children think. For families who face the same difficulties, He Said, She Said illustrates the steps Kaye and his daughter took to help turn her life around. Her success story will inspire you to make the necessary changes in your relationship with your children, helping you to better understand your children's behavior on a variety of issues.

"As a marriage and family therapist I found this book to be a good example of the significance of family dynamics in the raising of teenagers. In today's world it is becoming increasingly more difficult for parents and teens to make the journey through adolescence. I applaud Mr. Kaye's willingness to share his family's struggle in such an open and honest way. " -Lynne Harr, MA, a California Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

'A rare glimpse into the realities of parenting and being parented. Both father and daughter reveal the struggles, joys and separate realities of their relationship with authentic down to the bone honesty." -Dr. Robyn Wallace-Blanchard PhD NCSP Educational Psychologist

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 059536991X
• ISBN13: 9780595369911
• Release Date: December 2005
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.74 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

What a way to learn from others experiences!

He Said, She Said is the story of a father's point of view vs a daughter's point of view on how they saw their relationship over the years. I found it totally enlightening and quite surprising at just how different their points of view were. I wish I could have read this book before my daughter was born. The Klarfelds have done a marvelous job of showing us all just how different our outlooks can be. There was warmth, sadness, and humor in their words but most of all a lesson to be learned. What I found important was the love throughout the whole book. Although Ken Klarfeld has two adult children and two adopted school age children he is a licensed foster parent in the state of California. Daughter Jasmyn is a single mom and a full time student. I would highly recommend this book to all parents and all teens starting at an early age.

Raising Kids by Hindsight

Reviewed by Beverly Pechin for Reader Views (3/06) This is not another "How to Raise Your Kids" Instruction Book, written by those who have no children but all the knowledge of raising them because they read about it in some text book. I tire easily of those with degrees in child rearing who have never experienced the actual thing first hand, so my expectations when first looking at this type of book weren't that high. I figured " Great, another know it all doctor who is going to tell you how to raise your kids"; instead I began reading a true parent's ordeal with raising a daughter who began her life well-adjusted and nearly 'perfect' only to find nothing but a troubled life ahead. The book is written in two perspectives, the father's and then the daughter's. Each chapter deals with a new step in the daughter's life as she grows but from the very beginning you see how quickly the adult's version of what happened differs from the child's. It gives you a whole new insight to what it's like growing up in a broken/mixed family. In what seems to be today's " norm" of divorce and step-parents. While everything seemed perfect from the parent's stand-point, the child tells her views on how she felt during these times. She shows aspects of how everyday life isn't so every day when you're a child. What I loved most was, this young lady was not a troubled child. She was every parent's dream in the beginning. She excelled in her studies, had good solid friendships and was raised in a loving atmosphere. Somehow, she still took a wrong turn and the insight this book provides helps you see where those turns were. It's like child-rearing 101, but with hindsight. From a parent's perspective, it's what we all wish we had known before hand. Ken was a divorced father of two young children. He was in a relationship with a woman who was a drug abuser and for obvious reasons decided to remove himself and his children from the situation. He knew from the beginning that the relationship wasn't good anyways, they fought constantly and he was never really happy but, like so many, thought kids would help solve the problem. Instead, the obvious happened and Ken found himself a single dad raising a son and a daughter. Ken quickly found another love and remarried fairly soon after the divorce. His kids were still young, often a time when many single parents think it's best to begin a blended family because "the kids are young and it's just like a new family anyways". What we find by reading this book is that this is often not the case. Jasmyn, his oldest daughter, often expresses how hard it was for her as the child to belong to 2 mothers. She also expresses that she often felt like she was not her step-mother's but she was her father's, often creating turmoil within herself with these thoughts. Whether her parent's felt this way or not was of no bearing, what mattered is how her own mind adjusted to living in what we today call a "mixed family

I was so moved and so touched by this book

I'm writing this review with big dark circles under my eyes. I couldn't put Ken and Jasmyn's book down. I just received it a couple of days ago and now I am finished. I admire and applaud them both for writing such a needed and timely book. I REALLY hope they are finding their way to Oprah and all those important channels to get this book out there. I don't know where to begin. I don't want to make this a long review but I just want to say I was so moved and so touched by this book, it complemented and verified so much of what I am thinking about. I hope parents really look at themselves and teach kids to cut their parents off at the pass when something unhealthy is going to happen. The fact that Ken and Lynne looked at themselves in retrospect and were there solidly for their daughter, even when there were so mad (she knew you were there and hated that she caused you to appear to others to "not be there") I fell in love with all of them while reading this book. My husband is a stepfather and doing a great job of helping me raise my two boys (ages 10 and 15). However, it wasn't always a picnic. He had all his ideas on how boys should be raised, with them having a pretty dysfunctional father of their own. He just KNEW (not unlike Lynne) what they needed to shape up. We fought a lot, I was somewhat depressed when he would be too harsh. Because, like Lynne, he was very objective and could see what was really going on and what really needed fixing. Parents should know how they REALLY affect their children even when they think their parenting and actions are doing something else. Of all the parenting books I have read, this is so much in line and very much more palatable, because this topic of parents looking deeply at themselves as the source for their children's problems is very, very sensitive. It speaks so well to what it is like to be parented by us and by step parents. I want to say how much I admire Ken & Jasmyn, I am just so moved by everything they have been through.