Do Ask, Do Tell: Queer Life, Love and Culture Laid Bare

By Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley

'Bursting with empathy, understanding and humour. A crucial book for our community and allies.' Suzi Ruffell

What is a black cat lesbian? Is 'aromantic' a sexuality or a preference? How are bisexual and pansexual different? What's it like to be queer and religious? Does Gen Z do darkrooms? How do you navigate life as a OAQ (Old Age Queer)? What does trans euphoria feel like? Why is nightlife so central to the community? What is camp today?

As queer people themselves, authors Lotte Jeffs and Stu Oakley knew they didn't have all the answers, because their individual experience represents a single pixel of the rainbow. Do Ask, Do Tell is an unapologetically curious journey through the dazzling spectrum of queer life that will give people - queer, straight, cis and everything in-between - the confidence to say 'I don't know'.

With humor, warmth, and radically open minds, Stu and Lotte tackle the questions you may have avoided asking for fear of getting it wrong. Covering everything from ageing to open relationships, darkrooms to Drag Kings, camp to carabinas, as well as the intricacies of gender and sexuality.

This insightful and provocative exploration challenges assumptions, shatters taboos, and opens up the conversation. Whether you're seeking clarity for your cis straight self or deeper insight as a member of the community, this book is your guide to better understanding and celebrating the richness of queer life.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 103504207X
• ISBN13: 9781035042074
• Release Date: April 2026
• Publisher: Bluebird
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 1.01 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.3" x 9.5"
• Age Range: 18 years and up