Clear History: Pornography, confession, and the grace that does not run out

By Cristobal Jeldrez C

He had the theology. He had the pulpit. He had the mask.

For twenty-six years, Crist bal Jeldrez Contreras lived a double life. Seminarian. Preacher in three churches. Candidate for the pastorate. And addicted to pornography since the age of eleven.

This is not a self-help book. It has no five steps. It promises no victory in thirty days. It is the raw testimony of a man who spent more than two decades trying to break his chains by sheer will, and failed every time. A man who destroyed a marriage. Who carried his shame in silence while preaching from a pulpit. Until he could not carry it any longer.

Written from the trench rather than the lectern, Clear History traces the whole arc: the VHS tapes found by an unwarned eleven-year-old boy, the immigrant childhood that dug the emptiness the addiction would later fill, the twenty years of double life, and the night a man sat his wife down and spent ninety minutes dismantling everything she believed about him.

It also carries a second voice. His wife writes here under the pen name G.F., in her own hand and with her pain unedited - because the addict's story cannot be told honestly without the person who bore the consequences from the other side.

Grounded in Reformed theology and in the ordinary, unglamorous work of confession, community and grace, this book is written for the man who has already tried everything and lost, and who is finally ready to hear something true.

"Shame says: hide. Grace says: come into the light."

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0HB6N32NR
• ISBN13: 9798188700423
• Release Date: July 2026
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 76 Pages
• Weight: 0.18 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.2" x 5.0" x 8.0"