"But How'd I Get in There in the First Place?": Talking to Your Young Child about Sex

By Deborah M. Roffman

Book Overview

Young children ask questions about sex, sexuality, conception, and birth that can be embarrassing or uncomfortable for parents. With her characteristic good sense and cool head, author Deborah Roffman will put even the most awkward parents at ease, giving them the skills to talk confidently with young children about these important but delicate issues. In this wonderfully reassuring book, readers will learn that the key to talking with children about sex is knowing that their questions fall into three easily recognizable categories. At age three or four, kids are curious about geography ("Where was I before I was here?"), and at four or five, about delivery ("Exactly how did I get out of there?"). Finally, the six year old's classic stumper--"But how'd I get in there in the first place?"--is about cause and effect, not about imminent sexual activity With the emotional and developmental underpinnings of a child's curiosity understood, parents will find their tongues; with Deborah Roffman's wise, warm and practical advice, they will be well prepared for the inevitable flow of questions in the years to come.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0738205729
• ISBN13: 9780738205724
• Release Date: April 2002
• Publisher: Balance
• Length: 176 Pages
• Weight: 1.06 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.5" x 8.6"

Customer Reviews

great reading before your kids start asking -- or after!

I bought this book from the author after attending a super educational conference which she led (I am a middle-school teacher who was reviewing the health & sexuality component of our school's curriculum). However, I bought this book with my then-four-year-old in mind, and it's fantastic. Its down-to-earth, concrete language helps demystify the idea of talking about sex with kids -- an effort which she reminds us we are usually trying to learn from scratch, without the help of effective, adult role models to follow. Roffman gives wonderfully humorous examples of how to follow a child's lead -- and when to listen and find out what the kid is actually asking, rather than what you, with that frog in your throat, mistakenly assume that he may want to know. Having worked with many teens whose parents have waited until they are so old that talking about sexuality and relationships is viewed as a "hush-hush" conversation, I highly recommend this book to all parents as a way to help open up conversational ground wihtout fear. The more correct information that kids have from parents, from the start -- about their bodies and about healthy human relationships -- the better equipped they will be to interpret all the MISinformation that comes at them later, from the media and from their peers!

A wonderful book--and not just for parents of young children

This is a wonderful book--informative and easy to read, which is pretty impressive for a topic that makes most parents uncomfortable: talking with our children about sex. Roffman understands that sex education does not begin or end with learning about periods and puberty in fifth or sixth grade--she offers insightful guidelines for discussing important issues at different ages. My daughter is out of the target age range for this book (she's eleven) but I found the book very useful anyway, helping me understand the lessons I missed along the way and giving good basic information and ideas for communicating it. Read it!