Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back

by Gail Saltz

Book Overview

The Today show's psychiatrist shows readers how to stop living half a life, break old patterns, and take control You have a story. The one you're not even aware you're telling yourself, the one you... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1573222798
• ISBN13: 9781573222792
• Release Date: May 2004
• Publisher: Riverhead Books
• Length: 247 Pages
• Weight: 1.10 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.4" x 9.3"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Postsecondary and higher

Customer Reviews

Look at yourself (male AND female), and you'll gain immensely from this book

Men, read this book. Women, read this book. It doesn't matter what sex you are; insert the words "human being" anywhere when giving this book a shot, and you won't be discouraged; you'll become relieved, angry, enightened, and real. THEN you can start using this amazing work. I don't own a television, don't know Gail Saltz or MSNBC from Adam, but realize that people can't relate to techno-pseudo babble in Western Culture. People need things simple. "Becoming Real" does that by addressing people's denial of what's screwin' em up in ways I never thought possible. As a self defeater/dependent male, I tend to help people to hide my own crap, but I take solace in knowing that if one person reads my first book "review" and gives this book a chance, they might change for the better. I already have.

so phenomenal

this book changed my perspective entirely & empowered me to know why i am so hard on myself & effectively make change. knowing why & nonjudgmentally realizing that as small children, we interpret things so differently & incorporate those misinterpretations into who we are as people has been paramount in freeing myself of those self critical views. the things this book discusses are THE reasons people suffer depression, anxiety, etc. medication may help but the real solution is to DEAL with what's underneath the suffering when you are ready to do the work. this book is huge & i'm forever grateful for what i've learned from reading it. highly highly recommend to EVERY person because these things do effect every one in one way or another (to varying degrees of course). if you are a parent or planning to be a parent, this information is highly useful as well.

No nonsense approach, quick and to the point

No matter where you are in; self help books, recovery, self-development, this book is a direct and objective book to helping you know why while giving you solid understanding and tools for change. I read many books of this type and unfortunately have become a registered armchair quarterback psychologist. Gail combines psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral therapies into a condensed solution. Is it the magic bullet? Nothing is, but, reading and working the short exercises in the book and reading about the personality types, that you may be in, will definitely give you pause and insight. I got mad going through one of the personality types and even told a friend not to buy the book. I had to call them back after I realized my reading of the book just hit a nerve. There is no one great book. This one will make a dent, a useful one, especially if you are interested in figuring out why, how, and what do I do now. One negative, it is gender specific for women. If you are a man and are reading this, you will have to mentally switch female to male references and male to female, which can be a little tiresome. But, if you need to get good information and achieve fast results you find a model that is out there that works and copy it. Barbara De Angelis mentioned that when she wanted to become a great public speaker back in the 80s she went out and found the strongest best model she could emulate. She was indifferent that it was male, because that was what dominated that area back then. I would say the same about this. It is well done and relates to both sexes, even though Gail seems to have written it directly to the female population. A good read and an easy read. Well, until it hits a nerve.

Finally living for real

When I picked up Gail's book "Becoming Real" I knew that I had not been happy with my life for years. After I was a few chapters into her book, I discovered why I had not been happy. As I read on, I learned what "stories" I had been telling myself that were preventing me from achieving this happiness. I realized that it was not the rest of the world that was cheating me and overlooking my talents. It was me. By the end of the book, I knew what I had to do to rewrite my story. And, now, I'm proud to say that the plot of my life is a real page-turner. :-)Gail's book helped me realize that I am in control of what I decide to do with my life. Sure, I could have continued to sit around feeling sorry for myself and look at how well "everyone else" was doing. But, thanks to some essential realizations I had while reading her book, I have learned how to really listen to myself, and what I truly want, regardless of what I think others may want me to do instead.Putting an end to my roadblock stories has been so freeing. Gail's book helped me learn how to recognize and replace the "self-defeating" parts of my personality that held me back for years. If I had not read her book the other month, I probably would have continued to fret about how unhappy I was, without knowing what to do about it. But, with the insight I gained from Gail's book, I had the tools and courage to make some major changes in my life. After years of pursuing what I thought I should be doing with my life, I am now doing what I want to be doing. But, I do need to warn you that "Becoming Real" does not guarantee a quick fix. Just as the case with therapy, you really have to be ready to make changes in your life. And, more importantly, you have to be willing to take a close look inside, and have the courage to see what is really there...and also, what is missing. For me, Gail's powerful words were catalysts for the even more powerful steps that I needed to take to "become real."

brilliant

i am a student of self-help books with a psychological bent; as such, i did not expect to learn much when i picked up this book. i was stunned by the fascinating and creative approach dr. saltz takes to these issues -- she looks at emotional problems in a unique and dynamic way. the book was so much more enlightening than the standard psychoanalytic explanations that one usually hears from the likes of dr. phil -- here, at last, clear and believable explanations for how childhood affects adult life, and why we become the people we become. her narrative voice is smart, yet refreshingly friendly and funny -- i felt as though i knew her by the time the book was done. when you finish the book, you'll wish you could sit on her couch! marvelous, entertaining and eye-opening -- i highly recommend.