And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

by John M. Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

Book Overview

Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 140009738X
• ISBN13: 9781400097388
• Release Date: January 2008
• Publisher: Harmony
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.3" x 8.1"

Customer Reviews

Great read!

This was a great read, and I'd recommend it to any couple who has young children or is about to have a baby. It has been so validating and helpful!

Add it to the baby books!

We are reading this book together at night, and it's very informative and well written. I like the research aspect, which lends the book credibility. We haven't finished it yet, but the title seems a bit off - it's not as much about intimacy and romance as it is communicating through this new life transition. So far, it's really helpful.

Best gift to our children

As a therapist and a grandmother, I believe that the best gift we can ever give our children is a good, healthy marriage in which the primary relationship is between the parents. I gave the book to each of my children who just became parents. Gottman is right on target. Marge Coffey, LCSW

This will SAVE your marriage! A Must READ!!!!

I am a certified labor doula and I bought this book so I could help my doula clients. I didn't realize how helpful it would be to me as well. I wanted to be able to provide my clients with some good information about how things might be after their baby is born. IT's not an easy transition in many ways. Although delightful, the roller coaster of emotions both parents go through can be rough and lead to divorce. I can't tell you how many times I have gone to a postpartum visit only to see my clients sitting separately. The dad not responding to mom's requests and mom not talking to dad but talking AT him. I know them because we met prenatally and seeing the transition is astounding. The once happy couple, who would do anything for each other while pregnant, is now sad. Dad is no longer focused on mom and wanting to make her happy. Mom isn't really doing much to make dad happy. They are two people living in the same home but they are slowly losing each other. Sleep deprivation and an overwhelming sense of responsibility on both parents is splitting them apart. What's worse is, we don't think about how this will affect the baby. When couples think about how life will change when baby comes, they often think about how it will affect them. They don't think about how these changes will affect their baby; especially in the long run. This book describes those changes and offers suggestions and support on how to get through them. Dad's typically withdraw and I thought it was very normal. It is, however, if dad withdraws from baby and for significant periods, this will have a profound effect on the baby at the present time and in the long run. We must also think about the baby not just us. I heard an MD speak about Bringing Baby Home last year. My son was almost 3 at the time. I was shocked when I learned about this transition and the stages that we go through. The biggest reason...we went through each transition! It was like I was reliving what happened. Learning that what we experienced was normal, that everyone goes through it but not everyone survives it. I was able to rejoice in the fact that we were in the last stage and we were going to survive. It is a rough road this "Transition to Parenthood." Don't let people think you need to be happy when all you are feeling is frustration and resentment. BUY THIS BOOK! Read it in pregnancy and read it again after the baby is born. Go to the classes if you have a local educator. IF you want to survive your marriage or relationship after Bringing Baby Home, YOU NEED THIS BOOK!

Straightforward, realistic, and useful advice - a good read!

This book will definitely help couples keep their marriages on track post-baby if both spouses read it, and I'd recommend reading it BEFORE baby arrives and talking about it together. That way, when you're sleep deprived and your life is upside down due to having a new baby in your life and family, you might remember some of the good advice about how to communicate with each other and take care of each other. I really liked the many examples from couples studied, and the research-based nature of the recommendations. You probably won't be surprised at the "no-duh" nature of much of this book, since caring for your spouse and marriage really boils down to communicating well with each other, thinking about the other person, and treating them with respect and love. Kindness begets kindness! Nonetheless, it's helpful to read the data supporting the recommendations and to have these messages reinforced for you and your spouse. Good luck!