You're Not You: A Novel

By Michelle Wildgen

Book Overview

College student Bec is dangerously adrift. Self-conscious and increasingly uncertain about her long-term plans, she's studying a major that no longer interests her and is caught up in a bewildering affair with a married professor. In an impulsive attempt to redeem herself, she answers a want ad seeking a caregiver.What she finds is a wealthy, cultivated woman in her midthirties. Once an advertising executive, accomplished chef, and skilled decorator, Kate is now in the advanced stages of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). She and her husband, Evan, handle their situation with mordant humor, careful planning, and a lot of determination. Yet while Bec perceives the couple as charmingly frank and good-humored, strains exist beneath the surface.Bec is soon a vital part of her employer's household, and their increasing closeness transforms both women's lives and their relationships. The more she acts on Kate's behalf, the further Bec strays from her stringent comfort zone. She performs every task, from the most administrative to the most intimate, and she translates Kate's speech for strangers, friends, and even family. Sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes reluctantly, Bec advances further and further into Kate's world, surprised by her own increasing dedication and ease. But how closely can Bec intertwine her own life with Kate's?The two confront their obstacles unsentimentally, with dark humor and unflinching candor, as their relationship is slowly stripped of pretense. Honesty becomes their touchstone: They may find humor in the most devastating moments, but they won't pretend to believe in silver linings that don't exist. With crystal clarity, debut author Michelle Wildgen has crafted a deeply affecting novel about the singular relationship between two women, balancing humor and regret, sensuality and necessity, and testing the outer limits of friendship. Advance Praise for "You're Not You" "Michelle Wildgen's novel" You Are Not You "is so skillfully rendered that it's hard to believe it is a first novel. The character of Bec, a twentysomething who has a habit of falling into things---jobs, love affairs---is funny, completely unsentimental, and really great for a reader to hang around with. Her worldview and how it changes when she goes to work for Kate, a refined woman in her thirties, is riveting. I simply couldn't put this book down."---Whitney Otto, author of" How to Make an American Quilt" "What an enjoyable and deeply satisfying novel. In" You're Not You, "Michelle Wildgen manages to capture, in some extraordinary way, what it's like to be a fairly ordinary college student, waiting for one's life to begin. Bec is a wonderfully complex heroine, and the nuances of her relations with the remarkable Kate are both vivid and suspenseful. This is an exhilarating debut."---Margot Livesey, author of" Banishing Verona" "With" You're Not You, "Michelle Wildgen has produced an artful and slyly seductive debut novel about a caregiver in full thrall to her charge's steely hold on sensuality, taste, and grace."---Helen Schulman, author of" P.S." "Michelle Wildgen writes with a lush, fierce clarity about the most private and complex of matters: the relationship between identity and intimacy, the body's pleasures and profound betrayals, the sharp impact of loss, and the gifts of deep attachment." You're Not You "is startling and smart, a wise, beautiful novel."---Nancy Reisman, author of" The First Desire"

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0312352298
• ISBN13: 9780312352295
• Release Date: May 2006
• Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.06 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.4" x 1.0" x 5.8"

Customer Reviews

Excellent Debut Novel

Michelle Wildgen's debut novel about the relationship between an ALS patient and the young woman who is her carekeeper is well-wrought and raises important questions about such diverse topics as incurable diseases, gourmet food, and marital fidelity. It also very much has a sense of place in Madison, Wisconsin. Like many other readers, I am looking forward to future novels by this gifted writer.

Evocative and beautifully written

You're Not You is an wonderful debut novel that holds your attention from page one until long after you have finished reading. The book develops the relationship between Bec, a college student enrolled in a major she finds shallow and uninteresting and Kate, a successful woman entering the final stages of ALS. Hired as an inexperienced caretaker for Kate, as Bec takes on more responsibility for Kate's life, they become immersed in physical and mental intimacy to the point where Bec sometimes needs to remind herself that she is to speak for Kate, not herself. Wildgen provides a compassionate but unflinching perspective about the end of a life, made bittersweet by the juxtaposition of Kate teaching Bec how to cook gourmet meals--lifegiving food that Kate herself can not eat. All the reviews that say You're Not You is an amazing effort for a first novel are correct. This is a wonderful, well written story and I hope we see more from Michelle Wildgen.

Live, love, lose, learn

I am truly astonished that this is Ms. Wildgen's first novel. To have such an intelligent, sophistcated book that is also so accessible and non-pretentious is such a breath of fresh air for me. This book, more then anything, made me grateful. Grateful for my health, my family, my friends, my triumphs and my defeats. It helps you to remember that life is what you make it. To watch Kate embrace life as she does should remind us all that no matter what hand we are dealt, life is only what we make it. And Bec is that innocent in all of us, slowly discovering the sometimes harsh reality of life and humanity. I eagerly await Ms. Wildgen's sophmore effort for both entertainment and for what it may remind me about myself and the people and world around me.

Wrenching story of illness, loss, and love.

Michelle Wildgen's "You're Not You" features Bec, a twenty-one year old college student in Wisconsin who has given little serious thought to her future. Bec is juggling an unsatisfying job as a waitress with sporadic attendance at her college courses and a highly charged relationship with a married professor. Bec makes the life-altering decision to apply for a position as part-time caregiver for Kate Norris, a thirty-six year old woman who is suffering from a rapidly progressive case of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Kate's husband, Evan, does a great deal for his wife, but when he is unavailable, Kate needs help with such tasks as shopping, personal hygiene, dressing, and taking in nourishment. Initially, Bec is intimidated by the challenge of being responsible for another person's well being. Wildgen frankly and unflinchingly describes the day-to-day life of a woman with a degenerative illness that drains her, not only of her strength but also of her independence. In exhaustive detail, the author shows the tremendous physical and emotional toll that ALS exacts from both patient and caregivers. Kate "had pockets of movement left.... Her fingers were strong enough to manipulate a remote control or a simple switch if it was placed beneath her hand." However, almost all of the routines that healthy people take for granted--eating, getting ready for bed, and taking a stroll--Kate cannot accomplish without assistance. Kate speaks indistinctly, so Bec must learn to decipher what she is saying and translate her words for others. In addition, Bec is terrified that she will drop Kate as she moves her in and out of bed, the bathtub, or the wheelchair. Fortunately, "You're Not You" is not merely a depressing tale about a lovely woman's decline. It is a complex and thoughtful look at how life's vicissitudes affect the way we think about ourselves and relate to others. After working for Kate over a period of months, Bec realizes that the older woman is having a profound influence on her. Regardless of her infirmities, Kate retains her dignity, courage, and self-respect and Bec cannot help but admire this special individual who has lost so much, but refuses to surrender emotionally while she still has the ability to make decisions for herself. Kate jokes around with Bec, encourages her talent for cooking and baking, and gradually becomes the older sister that Bec never had. Soon, Bec identifies so closely with Kate that she has difficulty maintaining her professional distance. "You're Not You" is sensual, literate, and written with an exquisite attention to the telling detail that breathes life into a scene or a character. It is a profoundly moving and meaningful debut novel.

A truly amazing first novel!

I'm shocked that You're Not You is a first novel. Michelle Wildgen has written a truly touching book that never dips into sappy or preachy (which can happen in novels involving grave illness). I found myself laughing out loud at times, while I was drawn deeper and deeper into the evolving friendship between Bec and Kate. Wildgen knows her food - the descriptions of Bec and Kate's meals are beautiful - and her witty tone helped balance the tone in a very artful way. I can't wait to read Wildgen's next novel!