The Wisdom of Dying

By N. Michael Murphy

Book Overview

This book evolved as a result of my experiences of starting and developing a hospice in Albany, NY. In the beginning, I was as ignorant about hospices as I was about dying, and looking back on my decade and a half as a psychiatrist I realized that it was not a very helpful preparation for this work, steeped as it was like Freud in denial of death. For the first few years in the hospice I behaved as I was taught, and kept my distance. As I began to experience my own concerns about dying, I became aware that dying is a great teacher about love and forgiveness if we will listen, and I became a better witness for myself and others. By both acknowledging my own fears and allowing those of others to enter in to me, I became less afraid of the closeness required of one who is able to assist others to heal themselves. My most important work was having family meetings for almost every family that was involved with the hospice, for everyone in most families needs gentle encouragement to listen to their other family members and themselves. Many will also need a nudge if they are to ask and receive forgiveness and speak about love as they say goodbye. Most families when asked said they did not need a family meeting, usually because of unspoken dark secrets that had been carried for years. So only a small fraction of families have a family meeting in most hospices, and while hospice care is usually kind and loving, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for healing is often missed. This book, first published in 1999 and now updated, will guide you through some of the mysteries and possibilities that occur in families when one of the members is dying, and lead you through the heart break of saying goodbye and giving thanks, so that all is said and done.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0984596615
• ISBN13: 9780984596614
• Release Date: July 2011
• Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
• Length: 298 Pages
• Weight: 0.85 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.8" x 6.0"

Customer Reviews

Very thought provoking

A thought provoking book that allows one to confront the face of death and accept it. Most people believe themselves to be immortal until the inevitable loss of a loved one happens. This book changes that once scary part of our reality cycle into something that helps us live a more mindful life. The exercise of seeing yourself go through your last days is alone worth the price of this book. I'm young so it's hard for me to buy into all that "love everybody" message but I suspect that's a fault of mine not the authors. A very well written book that is a must read for everyone.

Moving and Touches the Heart

Michael Murphy reminds us that underneath our personality, roles in life, and even the experience of death is eternal life. Here, we are transcended from self-centered awareness into life-centered awareness. In this dimension of our being, our soul is revealed. The connections made on the level of soul in our relationships create invisible bonds forever linking us as children of the Comos. Thanks Michael Murphy for your insight into the sacred human path to love. -- Samuel Oliver, author of, WHAT THE DYING TEACH US: LESSONS ON LIVING.

the best book on the subject in years

It was very good to read this book filled with helpfull ideas and fresh approaches to ancient themes. As a human being I recognized many of the situations that were described and as a doctor I felt proud that it was one of us who wrote this book.