Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage

By Davina Kotulski and Ph.D. Kotulski, Davina

There are no less than 1049 federal rights granted to heterosexuals that remain out of reach to gays and lesbians as long as they don't have the right to marry. This quick and simple read outlines the... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1555838731
• ISBN13: 9781555838737
• Release Date: January 2004
• Publisher: Alyson Pubns
• Length: 152 Pages
• Weight: 0.90 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.5" x 5.3"

Customer Reviews

A witty, down-to-earth, and valuable new resource ?

The intricate system of laws that protects heterosexual privilege while denying lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) persons the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits of civil marriage is another form of segregation - but made all the more insidious by its apparent invisibility. In her new book, Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D., attempts to persuade us why civil marriage equality is an issue we should all, "give a damn about." This task would challenge any writer, given the immense scope of the subject and the skepticism with which this issue is still met by many well-meaning LGBT activists -- it is one thing to say "1,349 rights, benefits, and protections" but another entirely more daunting task to list and describe them while also developing a cohesive argument.Fortunately, Dr. Kotulski begins with the most important point of all. Second-class citizenship demeans our integrity; it assaults the liberty guaranteed us by the U.S. Constitution -- and the U.S. Supreme Court, it would seem, now agrees with us (just read the fine print of the Lawrence v. Texas ruling). In Dr. Kotulski's words, "The language of love has power, and we have been given a very slim piece of the pie and asked to stay in our corner of the room and eat it quietly ... we live a half-existence compared to our heterosexual friends."Dr. Kotulski is at her best when arguing that "Marriage Lite" (domestic partnerships, civil unions, reciprocal beneficiaries, etc.) is LGBT "Fool's Gold". These legal arrangements are only valid in their native states and most of the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits to which we have been denied access are enshrined in FEDERAL marriage, tax, social security, and inheritance laws anyway (for this reason, incidentally, the argument presented by many of our so-called political allies that this is a "states' rights" issue is a deceptive way of avoiding taking a position at all). And didn't the U.S. Supreme Court already determine in 1954 that "separate was not equal"? Dr. Kotulski offers her most compelling evidence when describing the process same-sex couples must endure to register a domestic partnership in California. The process, much more difficult to traverse than obtaining a simple marriage license, is itself demeaning because it reminds the same-sex couple of their second-class status.Although Dr. Kotulski has made a cohesive argument, the reader must be cautious to avoid missing the forest while wandering amongst the 1,349 trees. This book is best read in small portions; the subject matter is monotonous and tedious. But Dr. Kotulski has given us all many compelling reasons to "give a damn" about civil marriage equality.

Kotulski's helpful primer on gay marriage

why you should give a damn about gay marriage BY STEFFEN SILVISWillamette Week At first glance it looks like the curse of tardiness. Davina Kotulski's helpful primer on gay marriage hit the press prior to the revolution breaking out in San Francisco (her native city) and Portland (ours). But though recent events will be missing from her primary arguments, the absence will in no way invalidate her message: Gays and lesbians deserve full equality now.Kotulski wrote Why You Should Give a Damn about Gay Marriage for three groups of people: the committed (who are, as I write this, marching bravely to the altar), the straight but not narrow (best wishes, Ms. Linn and Co.) and those queers, such as myself, who have long looked disdainfully upon gay marriage as a plot to domesticate our uniqueness. Although I have lingering fears that this part of our struggle for rights might propel Bush and the Paleolithic evangelicals back into power, Kotulski (along with a few wedding receptions last week) has convinced me that this is a cause worth fighting for.Kotulski rigorously marshals her facts both to promote a wider definition of marriage and to respond to many of society's fears (all of which are either baseless or born of ignorance). Her case begins with rights: "There are more than 1,049 federal rights that accompany civil marriage, and some additional 300 per state." These are rights that cover medical emergencies, taxes, insurance, inheritance, burial decisions and such trivialities as frequent-flier programs. Even the right not to testify against one's spouse is denied queers, as Rosie O'Donnell and her now-wife Kelli bitterly discovered in recent legal battles.Kotulski emphasizes each of the legal problems that queers face with traumatic stories from real people who were left without recourse when partners were severely injured or killed, such as that of a homophobic father actually carrying his son's body off for a funeral that would exclude his son's long-term partner. This litany of abuse should put the lie to the idea that what we are demanding is "special rights." Still, never underestimate the viciousness of the severely religious."What do a serial rapist, a murderer, a child pornographer, a lifer, and an armed bank robber share in common?" asks Kotulski. "As long as they are heterosexual, they can all get married in prison." Kotulski has much to say about the "sacredness" of heterosexual marriage; after all, "gay people did not invent the term wife-swapping." It's depressing that in the 21st century, and in what is purportedly a secular country, that we are forced to entertain the views of an opiated mass of Baptists, brandishing the storybook of their sky god as if such ravings had relevance in rational discourse. Yet we must. Marriage is for procreation? "What about a man who wants to marry a post-menopausal woman?" asks Kotulski, or "a woman who marries a man with a vasectomy? Should these marriages be annulled?" There are also the fatuous

Great resource

This book is a quick and informative read, but if you are interested in justice and equality for all in the US, it will likely make you very angry. I already knew much of the information here, but having it all in one handy reference book is invaluable. The issue of gay marriage is crucial because of the far-reaching implications of denying equal rights to a minority of citizens. Please - read this book, keep it handy, and share it as widely as you can.

Why You Should Give A Damn About This Book!!!

With the many current judgments, opinions and feelings swirling around the topic of gay marriage, the facts get lost. Kotulski's witty, engaging, informative book is easy to read and up to date. One thing Kotulski reflects on that resonated for me was her comment about us calling our partner "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." ... She adds that because we are left out of the "adult fraternity" called marriage, we're unfairly denied the adult responsibilities that marriage would give us. ...For far too long, we Lesbians and Gays have been told about our lives by heterosexists reflecting on our lives according to the way they feel subjectively, not on what the data, statistics, and accurate research can tell about our culture. Davina Kotulski's book is another tool to help bring the truth into the light and break down decades of false judgments based on fear.

easiest read of all on this issue

True to its cover description: "a quick-witted, common sense handbook addressing the absurdities embedded in arguments against marriage equality, as well as in separate-but-equal 'marriage lite' options such as domestic partnerships." It will make you laugh. It will make you mad. Recommended for anyone sitting on the fence, and includes tips on how to get involved.