I want to give an account of my life, from the most fundamental point of view concerning my own belief in God. As far as I can, I want to come to understand it. What is it that motivated me to remain Catholic all these years after my infant baptism? I could have easily left, together with so many of my friends and classmates. Why did I stay? There are typically not just one or two reasons for why people become or stay Christian and Catholic: there are often thousands strung together. And yet my own personal certitude-no doubt along with others-goes far beyond those reasons. It is like asking a loving husband why it is that he loves his wife. It will be hard for the husband to even identify, much less express, all the reasons. Thus whatever reasons he gives will always be insufficient to all the actual reasons he has. Christianity is like that. It is a belief system, of course, but it is also something more than that. It is-like marriage-also a love relationship between persons.
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