Why Didn't You Warn Me?: How to Deal with Challenging Group Members

by Pat J. Sikora

Book Overview

Ensuring all members of a small group feel comfortable enough to participate openly can be a challenge, especially with diverse personalities. This guide helps leaders overcome the challenges of... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0784720754
• ISBN13: 9780784720752
• Release Date: April 2007
• Publisher: Standard Publishing Company
• Length: 96 Pages
• Weight: 0.54 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.2" x 5.3" x 7.5"

Customer Reviews

Sikora Understands Problem Group Members Well

Pat Sikora has facilitated and participated in numerous small groups over the years. Now she's written a book in order to share some of this expertise. The primary focus of Why Didn't You Warn Me is to coach group leaders on how to deal with specific group members' hang ups, using hypothetical character sketches to pose problems they may present. Sikora believes there are seven key principles for group leaders and they are as follows: 1) The purpose of any small group should be to grow its members to maturity in Christ 2) People grow when they interact with God's Word 3) People grow and heal best in community 4) A small group must be small 5) Minister to the Spirit rather than the soul 6) The group is more important than the individual 7) Love covers a multitude of challenges Sikora looks at each of these principles in depth while providing leaders tips for interacting with members. If you've ever been caught in the situation of dealing with difficult group members, this book will prove invaluable. You'll definitely want to include it in your arsenal of resources for training group leaders. Teena Stewart, Author, Successful Small Groups: From Concept to Practice

Practical and helpful

Over the past thirty years, I've become convinced that effective small groups are essential to healthy churches and organizations, no matter what their size. Effective small groups depend on effective leaders. And effective small group leaders are continually learning how to treat relational and interpersonal problems in ways that foster healthy groups and individuals This is a practical, helpful book from an experienced small group leader. After describing several principles that form the foundation for small group ministry, the author introduces a host of relational and interpersonal challenges that can emerge in any small group. Especially important is her challenge for leaders to deal with "unhealed areas in our lives or habits that are unpleasing to God, ourselves, and others" (19). As we do that, we are able to objectively and redemptively handle the discussion and character challenges we face. Those challenges include chronic talkers, quiet individuals and groups, those who use overly religious jargon, those who are dogmatic or overly argumentative, and those with significant emotional difficulties. If you're a small group leader, you will find this short book full of practical wisdom. If you train small group leaders, you will discover a well-written book that you can use for leadership training.

Editor's Review

I had the privilege of editing this book, and I've worked with Pat for many years encouraging her to publish this work. This book should be read and used as a continuing resource by every small group leader, adult Sunday school teacher, and anyone who leads any kind of group. Pat did an excellent job identifying the most common difficulties in small groups and providing clear, step-by-step help in dealing with those issues Biblically. This is a book you'll use over and over!

In a small group? You need this book.

Most of us at some point, are a member of a small group. Maybe it's a writer's group (like the two I am in) or a study group, a book review group, a Bible study, or any other type of group. Each group is unique in its makeup and how it operates. Why Didn't You Warn Me is a short, easy-to-read, book that gives leaders and group members the ins and outs of managing a group. It includes detailed helps for dealing with 13 types of members. The book is loaded with extras: In This Chapter summaries and a variety of callout boxes with great information - Caution, Check This Out, Wise Words, Try This, Consider This, and more. In 96 pages, this book offers huge benefits to anyone in a small group. As a small group leader myself, I will use this book to help keep my groups healthy.

Group Dynamics for Interactive Harmony

With over thirty years of involvement in small group ministry and the unique challenges of group dynamics, Pat Sikora targets over 15 specific obstacles to small group harmony. The user-friendly format of the book includes charts, illustrations and tips for equipping the small group leader. The book is easy to read, entertaining, and instructive. It is a step-by-step guide for small group leaders, for the novice just starting out or for the veteran mature leader needing fresh ideas to more effectively lead the challenges and interaction of members of a small group ministry. Selected, well chosen Scriptures formulate the principles developed throughout this important hands-on guidebook. I appreciated Pat's tongue in check humor with the names she assigned the composite problem characters who are apt to create the dynamics within your group: Mona Monopoly, Quentin Quiet, Polly Prayerless, Linda Lazy, Willie Wrong, Grieselda Gossip, and Travis Troubled. Each of these characters represents a possible obstacle to maintaining group harmony and effectiveness. Pat offers solutions to dealing with these well-meaning, problematic individuals. This is a book that should be on the suggested reading list of Christian Educators and Pastors. Whether you are leading a Bible study, a support group, a recovery group, or a small group of another nature you will find "Why didn't you Warn me?" helpful, informative, entertaining, and a valuable resource tool to be referred to regularly.