Whining: 3 Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start

by Audrey Ricker and Carolyn Crowder

Book Overview

Are you ready to end the whining wars in your house?
It starts with a whimper, an insistent demand, or a certain tone of voice that every parent recognizes with dread -- your child is starting to whine, and if you don't respond properly you'll have a full-blown tantrum or argument on your hands. Kids of all ages know that whining works when they want that extra hour of TV, the unplanned toy purchase, or a later curfew. But stopping such...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0684857421
• ISBN13: 9780684857428
• Release Date: March 2000
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 160 Pages
• Weight: 0.40 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 5.5" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

Really good Ideas

I really loved this book and my boys ages 2.5 and just turned 4 have really turned around. My 4 year old was so whiny I got the book for him, but it worked even better at taming the tantrums of my two year old that I had chalked up to "normal" 2year old behavior. The most important element, the one I was missing is the element of contribution. They are doing chores, and helping out and really enjoying it. Dinner time is a delight now. They behave and sit until they are done and then clear their plates. It has only been a few weeks and I was amazed immediately.

WOW My DAUGHTER stopped WHINING and ACTING UP

WOW, The title says it all for me. I have a little girl 16 months that I used to rarely be able to take her in public for fear of her tantrums or whining. WITHIN two days of ipmlementation of the ideas in the book I saw a BIG improvment. My INLAWS jaws dropped as my daughter sat thru a WHOLE meal with us 4 days later. As I am writing this my daughter has come to my lap, pointed to the box of cookies and said "Mom peez" What a great gift stumbling on this book has become for my daughter. I can be assured she will grow up with the skills necessary to communicate effectively. I look forward to any and all new books from this author.

good parenting principles, period.

It's never too early to read this book, and it's never too late either. I'm usually wary of pop-psych books with numbers in the title (three steps, two ways, seven principles, eight things...), because they're often oversimplified, but this one is just-right-simplified. The principles here -- be assertive, apply reasonable consequences for behavior, and allow the child to contribute to social life -- are broadly useful. We should treat ALL people this way. These practices will prevent undesirable behavior and promote GOOD behavior. I think we'd all like to be treated as this book advocates treating kids. And I think it feels good to approach the world this way. The hardest part isn't reading the book, though, it's finding the resolve to stick to it -- because even though it feels good in the long run, it's still difficult to start. The book is a very short read, written in simple language without excess. I've already highlighted several favorite points, including one about how bribing your child indicates that you don't think her capable of behaving well on her own. I think it's a good book for re-reading and I think it'd be most effective when discussed with other people. The more you think about this, try it out, discuss it with others, etc. -- the more you really keep aware of it and incorporate it into your life -- the better.The authors refer to three possible parenting styles: autocratic ("because I said so"), permissive, and democratic. They advocate the latter. And their recipe for preventing/stopping whining is simple: teach your child that whining will not get him what he wants. It is that simple -- and you may think you have tried that, but when you examine the details of your behavior, as these authors help you do, you might find you haven't done it at all. The messages you send might not really be what you claim they are. (One point from the book: Repeatedly yelling "Johnny, whining is NOT going to get you what you want!" is counterproductive.)The book alternates between explaining general principles and presenting fictional case studies, which range from preschool to preteen. Even though I don't currently have a backtalking child, I might go pick up the authors' other book, on backtalking, as a measure of prevention. I might learn some things.If you hate giving in to the whining but don't know what else to do, or if you have terribly mixed feelings about it, I think you'll find this book quite helpful.

Practicle Help

What a helpful book! It's a good follow up for the Sears' "Discipline Book" which does a good job of getting you attached to your baby, but doesn't give real practicle methodes for dealing with an already spoiled, whiney child. "Whining," has given me a way to effectively deal with our daughter's less than desirable behavior!

A Must Have Book for Parents

I always believed that I had the most wonderfully behaved child in the world, and I patted myself on the back for being such a wise parent ... AND THEN MY SON TURNED FOUR! In my quest for a solution to the whining and antics of my preschooler I have read countless books on parenting and positive discipline. But none can compare to Whining: Three Steps to Stopping it Before the Tears and Tantrums Start. The information in this book is concise and practical. The techniques described (yes, there really are just three steps) are easy to understand and easy to implement. The book is short enough in length so as not to intimidate an already overwhelmed parent. I devoured it hungrily in one sitting, then read it again more slowly. In short, this book makes a lot of sense. My husband and I began using the three steps and noticed a significant improvement in our son's behavior almost immediately. Whining ... is an excellent resource to parents and anyone who works with children (or whiny adults, for that matter!)